Clone
by Clone-Eden
Summary: Clone is a simple daughter looking for her father's smile... Unfourtunately, her father is Knives... Revamping chapters is DONE! T for chapter fifteen.
1. Meet Clone

Disclaimer: Yeah, so what if I don't own Trigun? You don't have to rub it in...

C-E: Ok, this is the beginning of "my story," so to speak. I'm actually surprised that I'm doing this. The RP I did with my friend was so messed up, it scared even me. Brr, ominous chill.. Oh well, if you people don't like it, I'll discontinue it and return work on VP. Enjoy!

**Clone**

**Chapter Two:  
Meet Clone**

((((Start))))

Two years after the fight between brotherly plants, Knives sits at a small table in his room, staring out the window at the black, star lit sky, desperately trying to ignore his brothers peaceful lectures. Ever since that fight two years ago, Knives couldn't get rid of his beloved brother and something had been bugging him. Like he forgotten something before the fight, but try as he might, he just could not think of it. He shrugged it off like he had for two years. Even if he did forget something, it wouldn't matter after two years.

Two hundred iles from any town lays a broken SEEDs ship, alone aside from the few surrounding sand dunes. If you asked the nearest town's elder, he would tell you an evil man lived there constantly striving to destroy the world. The elder would continueon totell you that the mad man created an awful creature that would rip off your head and suck out your immortal soul for dinner.

If you gained the courage to venture into the bowels of the ship and walked it's many twisting halls, you would eventually come upon one room. In this room, you would find a cryogenics chamber, spilling soft smoke upon the floor. At that very moment, you would see a small kuro-neko walk across the control panel, pressing buttons and turning dials. The glass front of the chamber would open, scaring the neko away and reveal a young women of twenty-six with platinum blonde hair, slightly spiked.

She stepped out of the chamber dressing in a green plug suit. Her cold blue eyes stared at her through the mirror, as she looked down at the black .45 Colt laying on the table next to her. She picked it up, holding it before her face smiling, "I'm coming, father."

Four hundred iles away, Knives shudders...

((End of actual chapter one))

A lone figure wrapped in a weathered travel cloak scours the desert. It comes across alone town two hundred iles fromthe fallen SEEDs ship. The figure walks into the local bar, sitting at the bar and ordering a glass of water whilemany bounty hunters eye the persondrinking the sweating glass of water.

One burly bounty hunter stood up and walked to the figure, "Hey buddy. How could you buy just a glass of water at bar? Hey bartender! Give my friend here a scotch!" he said, draping a massive arm over the delicate shoulders of the stranger.

The figure sent an ice blue sidelong glare at the bounty hunter. "_I don't drink alcohol._" a falsetto voice growled. The bounty hunter stared at the glaring form and burst out laughing, turning tohis surprised partners. "Well, well. Looks like our friend here is a woman," he laughed, turning back to the woman still drinking her water, "Why didn't you tell us, sweety? I would have gotten you something_ weaker!_" he continued laughing, but was cut short as he was lifted off his barstool.

The woman stood up, running a gloved hand through her short, platinum hair as the bounty hunter's partners drew their weapons on her. "I don't know **why** you're threatening me. You brought it upon yourself." she said, thrusting a hand at the floating bounty hunter, sending him sailing through the bar's wall and into the street. A multitude of clicks sounded as the woman returned her attention to the partners. She smiled, "So, now you're going to kill me? After seeing how easily I defeated your boss, you think you can land a single bullet on_ me?_"

Gunshots filled the air as smoke slowlyswirled around the room. The men lowered their guns as the smoke cleared, satisfied. They froze as laughing filled the worn bar. "Hehe. You missed." she said, leveling a black gun at the head of one of the men. With one shot, the men noticed their own bullets stuck in mid-air...quite painfully noticed.

The woman replaced the gun to it's holster and walked outside to the entire town patiently waiting. She narrowed her eyes, alert of the shotguns and pitch fork andwas caught off guard as the town brokeout incheers. Yells of "our hero" and "our savior" struck the woman like a semi. They surprised her further as they lifted the baffled woman onto their shoulders and tothe town hall for a celebration.

Knives sat at the kitchen table, simply because Vash wouldn't stop bugging him to eat something for breakfast. He crossed his arms and glared at the table while the satellite rambled on about a town captured by bounty hunters that was recently liberated by an unknown traveler, but that was over five days ago.

Vash put a plate of eggs in front of Knives' glaring eyes that looked up at Vash, scowling. Vash smiled back, "It's good. Trust me Knives. _Please?_" he pleads, sitting next to his elder brother. "Just **one** bite, that's all I ask."

Knives growled as he reluctantly picked up the fork, piercing some eggs withthe four prong instrument. Vash jumped and laughed nervously, getting up to answer the soft knock at their front door. Vash opened the door and was instantly thrown outside. Knives bit into the eggs, ignoring the muffled screams and yells of his beloved brother.

Outside, Vash was being held by the collar of his white short-sleeved shirt by Knives... Wait, Knives? "**Where's my father?**" the girl Knives growled, eyes wide with anger.

Vash whimpered in confusion, "I-I- I don't know what you're talking about." he said as the woman brought him closer to her face.

"_You're lying_. Where's father?" she yelled at the quivering former gunman.

Knives walked outside, carrying the plate of eggs. "Vash, this stuff is horrible! I can't see how you can-" he was cut off as the cloaked womanlatchedontohim, making the eggs drop.

"**Father!** Oh father, you won't _believe_ what I went through to get here." she said hugging him tightly. Knives glared at the figure a moment before yelling at it, but something clicked in his mind, that nagging feeling he had for two years. And Knives paled, a expression of utter horror spread itself over his face, like melted butter on a pancake.

Vash marveled at Knives' expression. His brother, the genocidal maniac, went limped and stared into space as this woman continued hugging. Suddenly, Vash noticed something and stood up, walking to his brother and pulling off the happy cloaked figure. He turned to the still Knives and looked him in the eyes. "...**You had a daughter and didn't even tell me!?**" Vash said, throwing his hands into the air in rage.

Knives snapped out of his trance to glare at Vash. "**No, you idiot!** I made a clone of myself, just in case I would_ fail_ or was wounded beyond repair. But, as you can _see_, **it was a failure.**" he said, gesturing to the woman Knives sitting on the sandy ground, smiling at him. Knives' eye twitched, failure indeed. "I don't know how you got out, but go back! I have no need for y-" he stopped as the woman produced the black gun and held itto him as if offering it as an sacrifice. Vash froze and Knives took the gun, awestruck. "How-"

"I found it when I woke up. I decided you might need it, so I brought it with me." she said as her welled up with tears. "I'm sorry-sniff- I used a bullet to kill a bunch of_spiders_ that persistedin pestering me in my mission to bring it to you. sniff sniff. Please don't hurt me! I'll go buy another bullet for you right now." She shot up and ran to the nearest gun shop, leaving behind a dumbstruck Vash and Knives.

Vash snapped back and grabbed to the gun from Knives, running into his room before the elder sibling could process what happened. "**VASH! GET BACK HERE WITH MY GUN!**" Knives yelled, running up the stairs after his sibling. A muffled "no" came from the door as Knives reached it. "Vash, if you _want_ to live another day, you will **give me my gun.** It's not my fault you _destroyed_ yours." he said, getting another muffled "no" in response. Knives turned around at a yelp and a thud. He found a box of bullets layingstrewn acrossat the base of the wooden stairs.

He turned back to the room as yells and screamsspilled from it's walls. A few minutes later, the woman opened the door, handing Knives his gun. In the background, Knives saw his beloved brother laying unconscious by a broken chair. He looked back to the woman still wearing the traveling cloak, smiling happily at her accomplishment.

"So," Knives started as he raised an eyebrow at the woman's smile, "what was your name again?"

The girl stared at him a while, happiness swiftly replaced by confusion. "_Father_, you never gave me a name."

"Hmmm," Knives started, walking back to his room followed by the woman. "You've proved yourself useful _so far_. Why don't I just call you Clone," a high-pitched squeal came from behind him, "and we'll see if I wan tochange it." he finished, getting caught in another hug.

"Oh! _Thank you!_ **Thank you, father!** I promise to be the best daughter you've ever had!" Clone said squeezing Knives harder.

"You're the _only_ daughter I have." Knives said through his suffocating coughs.

((((End))))

C-E: Poor Vash. Poor Knives! I don't think I'll make this one a saga. I don't know; it depends on what I feel like.. R&R if you actually like this chapter. I'll write more later and sorry for this chapter being shorter than what I usually write, but it felt right to stop there. Welp, stay tuned(?) for the next Clone!


	2. We Are Superior!

C-E: Yay! My second complete chapter of Clone! I can't believe people like this. Oh well.. Sorry about the time lag, it gets annoying when a pop up comes up every five seconds. Stupid internet. 

Disclaimer: Don't own Trigun, but I glad(?) to say Clone does belong to me.

**Clone  
Chapter Three: We Are Superior!**

Knives sighed, listening to the screams coming from downstairs. Surely, his creation would be some use to him. Clone certainly was not a force Vash (at least)wanted to mess with, and the women spiders (he could never remember their names, like he even wanted to) were slowly figuring out Clone's massive determination to her own flesh and blood. Good thing she didn't notice Vash's disturbing resemblance to his brother. The genocide let a smile play across his face as more yells wound their way through the halls.

Meanwhile downstairs, Clone purposely disposed of Vash's body. Disposed meaning that she got tired of dragging his fat butt around and threw him on the couch. That's about the time she noticed the kitchen. In her mind, a thought process began. Her father was a plant and plant's have no use for kitchens, being superior and having no use for food consumption, and surely these humans would like to honor the great presence of her father by not eating...

A few minutes later, Meryl and Milly walked through the front door with their arms full of grocery purchases, completely oblivious of the chaos before. The first thingtheireyes met was an unconscious Vash sprawled on the couch. Eh, living with Vash for as long as they have, that's a pretty normal sight. Next thing they noticed as they moved to the kitchen was the vacant spot where the refrigerator **_had_** been. The stove somehow disappeared as well, and the cupboards were slightly more vacant than when they had left.

The two insurance women looked at each other and placed the bags on the table that was mainly the only thing left. Meryl looked around, walking to the vacant spots as if her presence would bring back their missing appliances. She turned at the falsetto voice of her partner. "Meryl, come look at this!"

Meryl reached the backdoor way and screamed. There laying on the ground was their fridge and stove, ripped from the respective spots as wires discharged what little electricity they still held. Sitting on the fridge was a curious Clone, turning a jug of milk around in her hands. She waved (dropping the jug and sending milk everywhere) as she noticed the two girls, one gawking at the damage, the other waving back.

"What- what did you **do**!?!" Meryl stammered, stepping back. This was something she expected Vash to do. She looked up and her eyes grew wide with who now stood smirking in front of their massacred appliances.

Clone giggled and wandered her way to the girls, looking in any direction than at them. Humans were so funny sometimes, she was afraid she'd bust out laughing if she looked directly at them. "You humans are so funny, sometimes," she found her way to the back porch, Meryl fuming, "It's not like you can't buy new ones to replace them. Besides, you're graced with superior beings, there's no need for such things as food." She laughed lightly as the little one shook with increasing wrath. "You should be happy. I did you a favor. This way you're starving will act asentertainment for my father and I." Clone finished, completely inside and holding a cup of pudding in her hand.

Milly tilted her head, "What do you mean 'father' Mr. Knives?"

Clone tensed, "How **dare** confuse me for a higher creature such as my father! Hmph. I suppose I'll let it _slide_, since you just met me." she said,putting down the pudding asboth sets of eyes fixed on her. "My father has named me Clone. I am his one and _only_ daughter, crafted from his own cells. It is my job to serve himany way he wishes in this pathetic planet you call home. I have taken it upon myself to show you _unworthy_ mortals the grandeur that is my father."

Milly clapped and looked down at Meryl. "Isn't that nice, Meryl? Mr. Knives had a baby."

Meryl's head fell, "Milly..." she shook her head and turned back to Clone, who now sat on the table's edge shifting around in the bags, picking things out, making faces and throwing them over her shoulder. "Listen you! I don't care **who** you work for! I want my stove and fridge back in here, **now**!"

Clone lazily glanced at her for a moment... and went on with thedisposal of any unnecessarynecessitiesfor plant life. Meryl growled and stomped right next to the bored plant. "Plant or not, if you want a place to stay, you do what _I_ tell you," Meryl laid a finger on the plant's suit, earning her a glare.

"Human, you wouldn't do that if you saw what I did to the last person who tried to touch. And his group ofsix friends." Clone said, a eerily Knives- like smile playing acrossher face, "Let me just say,I made ithard for their family to recognize who they were." she chuckled lightly. "Considering they had a family."

It was then that Vash woke and heard Clone's voice. Death? She killed innocent people? Vash shot up from the couch, ignoring his throbbing headache (he's had worse) and slunk his way behind Clone, taking horrified note of the missing appliances. He had donuts in that fridge! That was the last straw! He jumped her laughing form pinning her to the ground. "You- you **MONSTER!** How could you do that to **MY DONUTS**!" he yelled.A muffled "What are donuts?" the only answer.

Meryl sighed as the two grown plants fought on the floor. "Come on Milly. Let's leave them alone. We have shopping to do," she added glancing forlorn at the broken machines laying on the desert ground. Milly followed the shorter woman, catching one last glance at Vash wailing in pain asClone continued to kick in his sides, falling as Vash caught her leg.

C-E: Another short chapter. Sorry, but trust me, the next one will make up for it. Knives needs some time alone from the scratching on his door at night (you'll find out..) so he sends Clone on an impossible mission. To recover his lost (and by lost I mean DEAD) right hand man, Legato... Can Clone find the undead servant? Or will she be cursed to wander the sea of sand for entirety trying to please her beloved father. Find out in the next Clone!

Warning: Contains SPOILERS. May cause seizures and brain twitches (if you think too hard about Clone's thoughts).


	3. The Minion

Disclaimer: In some alternate universe I would own Trigun, but first I have learn how to get there. Anyway, I don't own Trigun, yet. 

C-E: Sorry updating takes so long for me. I just don't have the focus some people have but, I plan on working on that with my stories. So, Clone meets the family and chaos promptly ensues. Now, sit back and relax for this chapter of-

**Clone  
Chapter Four: The Minion**

((((Start))))

The wind brushes the inside of the cloak, billowing with the graceful breeze. The long brimmed hat shields her cold eyes and concentrated scowl while the humans looked on with awe. The double suns fight to penetrate the worn, tan cloak to the soft pale skin that peeks through the folds, but to no conceivable avail. A single black cat meows in admiration as the light cream boots fall upon the porch with a stifled thud. The door opens swiftly and quietly as the women enters her house.

"About **time** you got here! Did you bring the butter?" the short insurance girl says taking the stick of butter from the stubborn gloved hand, "Good." Meryl looks the figure up and down. "Why are you wearing so much clothing?" she says walking into the kitchen as Clone takes off her cloak and sticks out her tongue to the short woman.

"'Cause I feel like it, _Spider-girl_. Where is Father? I must speak to him." Clone says starting up the stairs.

"He's in Mr. Vash's room, Ms. Clone!" the falsetto voice of Milly echoes from the kitchen. "He said he's trying to hide from you. But I don't think that's very nice. You _are_ his daughter after all." Milly continues, poking her head from the kitchen and smiling to the still glowering Clone.

"I didn't need you to tell me where to find _father_, you insignificant Arachnid!" Clone yells opening the spiky haired one's door. Her mood instantly changes from mad to happy as she finds Knives staring wide-eyed at his clone.

"_How did you find me?_" the platinum blonde says moving his chair as far away as physically and mentally possible from Clone.

"I used my psychic powers Father! How do you think I found you? A spider told me? Please!"

Knives stares in utter amazement at the cloned plant in front of him; and then, he thought of something. Something so hideously evil, it was sure to kill (or at least get herlost) Clone. He smiled as he thought of the possibilities. "Clone, my most _loveable_ daughter," he said as if speaking to a two year old, standing up and walking to the enthusiastic female plant. "I have a very _special_ mission for you. You see," he continues, putting an arm over Clone's shoulders as she bounces excitedly, "my greatest minion is _somewhere_ out there and I need you to bring him to me. His name is Legato. You'll notice his blue hair and golden eyes. You should find him in the town of LR. Find him and bring him here, _will you?_" He finished to an almost spastic clone.

"Yes Father! Yes! **Oh Yes!** I will go retrieve your minion for you! Count on me Father! In fact, I'm leaving right now! I'll be back before sunrise!" Clone says running out the door and out into the sun bleached desert.

Knives chuckles to himself as Vash walks out of the bathroom with a towel over his shoulders. "Knives, what's so funny?"

"Oh nothing Vash. Just the end to all my problems." Knives says sitting back in his chair, kicking his feet up onto the table, "_The end of all my problems,_" he finishes with a nod.

A single figure skips happily through the yellowed sands, humming to herself. Hours pass and the platinum blonde woman sinks down to her knees and begins to crawl. "Why didn't I bring my cloak?!" she says, raising a fist to the suns, "Darn you evil suns! **DARN YOU!**" She collapses of the sand, unconscious.

_'Dark... It's so dark. Father... Father help me...'_ Clone opens her eyes to a shadowed figure above her, patting the plant's head with a cold cloth. Clone wants to swipe at the human. Yell at her for daring to touch the superior plant, but her body just _wouldn't_ respond.

The figure stops and looks down at Clone, blurred lines coming slowly into focus. "You're awake. That's good. We found you in the desert unconscious. You're fever broke and the cuts you got from that sandstorm healed. My name is Lilian. Welcome back to LR, Clone," the woman says, her gentle green eyes smiling with pure happiness.

"Back?" Clone croaks, noticing the drought in her throat. Lilian frowns and retrieves a glass of water tilting it to Clone's mouth.

"Yes. Don't you remember? You saved us from those _horrible_ men a few days ago. We were overjoyed that you returned and quickly healed your wounds. Everyone's been waiting _anxiously_ for you to wake up. My father, the mayor, sent for the best doctor's. They all said you wouldn't survive but my father had faith in you and never gave up in your vitality." she stopped as Clone growled. "What's the matter?"

"Your incessant **talking**, that's what! Leave me alone, human. I can heal quicker without your constant banter!" the female plant yelled hoarsely. Lilian stammered slightly and stood to leave. Clone glared at the closed door. She sighed, thinking of the ways to find Father's minion in her weakened state while in this foreign town.

The door opened again despite Clone's deadly glare. What she guessed had to be the mayor entered shyly. "Ms. Clone. It's a _pleasure_ to see you're awake. Do you need anything, our hero?" the mustachioed man asked.

Clone smiled, noticing a way to use the human beings for her purpose. Father would be**so**_proud_ of her. "Yes, in fact, I do have something I need from you. I'm looking for someone. His name is Legato. He has blue hair and golden eyes. When you find him bring him here. I should be healed by then." she finishes, her throat healing already. The mayor's eyes widen and he nods enthusiastically, leaving the room in his hurry. Clone chuckles to herself. Yes, Father would be _very_ proud of her, indeed.

((Five Hours Later))

Clone stands, flexing her joints from the hours of accelerated healing. The door cautiously opens to Clone's ever-glaring eyes. "Uh. Ms. Clone, we _couldn't_ find the one you seek. We're **very** sorry."

Clone walks over to the door and towers over the shivering man. She cups his face in her gloved hand and stares deep into his eyes, chuckling deeply. "What a _poor, poor_ creature you are. It's _pity_ you must live. I know," shelet's his face goand steps backward, "I'll free you from your pain." She extends her hand and the man's body pierces the wall behind him. She chuckles, standing in the holed wall. "You could have had worse. I could have ripped your bones from your body." She turns away from the bloodied street and panicking townsfolk.

((Twenty Corpses Later))

Clone walks through the street, sighing as the humans bow down before her. _'All I need is to find Father's minion. How hard can that **possibly**be!?'_ She stops, grabbing her head and growling to the ground. She looks up to the muffled "Master?" A blue haired, golden-eyed man stands before her with an oddly monotone inquisitive expression.

"Wha- What did you call me?" Clone asks with a growing happiness.

"Master.. Are you all right? Are you hurt?" the man asks as Clone's smile explodes onto her face.

"**You!** Your name is Legato, isn't it?" she asks. When the man stares oddly at her and nods, she squeals and latches onto his white coat.

_'Yes! **Yes!** I did it! Father will be **SOOO** proud of me!'_ She pushes the man away, gaining her composure. "Legato, I'm happy I finally found you. I'm am not your Master but I am his clone. Father has sent me to find you and bring you to him. Now if you'll follow me, it'll take but a few days to reach Father's current residence." she says to the surprised Legato, who simply nods in response and follows after the loyal Clone, killing every other person in her happiness.

((((End))))

C-E: WOW! Clone manages to find Legato! What kind of evil plans and chaos will ensue in the next Clone?! You'll have to read to find out. R&R! Response makes me update faster.


	4. She's BAAaaack

Disclaimer: I may not own Trigun, but I do own some things! Like this spork! All bow down to my spork! MWUAHAHA! 

C-E: I have a reason for not updating this time! I hit my head skating and have this giant, mighty bump on my head now. After a few days of healing, it's still there... Darn floor. Darn gravity. So here it is to the dismay of others-

**Clone**

**Chapter Five:  
She's BAAaack...**

((((Start))))

Knives sat, once more, at the table, waiting for his Sunday "dinner." Vash busied himself at the stove, creating another plate of those accursed eggs. He chuckled to himself. It has been seven days since Clone left his sight. Seven blissful days. His thought was interrupted by Vash setting the steaming plate in front of his fuming face. "Alright, Knives. Now that your daughter's gone-"

"**_She's not my daughter, Vash._**" he narrowed his eyes to his annoyed brother.

"Now that your _clone_ is gone, we can try this again. Here's the fork, and there's the plate. I'm not leaving until I see you eat the **entire** meal." the gunman said, crossing his arms in determination.

Knives growled and picked up his fork, stabbing the fluffy eggs with malevolence. Knives forced down the disgusting mass under his brother's eyes. He gagged and downed a glass of water, silently begging his brother's pitiless eyes for mercy.

The two men jumped as the front door slammed open to a severe falsetto voice that sent a chill down Knives' spine. "Father, I found your devoted minion for you! He was surprisingly _eager_ to follow me for four thousand miles. He's really nice and-" she stepped into the kitchen and froze at the site of Vash. "**YOU!**" she shouted pointing an accusing finger at the spiky-haired one. "Legato said **YOU'RE** the one who killed him! How _could_ you! Legato is obviously a very nice man." The room fell into silenced.

The door opened again followed by two insurance ladies. "Oh! Ms. Clone, it's so nice to see you're back and safe! I was so worried when you left, but Mr. Knives said that you went on an errand for him and that I was stupid to worry about you but-" Milly stopped when her senior pulled on her arm.

"That's enough Milly. Let's go up to our room and leave them alone." The shorter one said, pulling Milly's arm up the stairs. The room filled with an eerie silence, until Clone coughed.

"Soo. Father it's nice to see you again. I'll get rid of those **disgusting** _eggs_ for you," she said, ignoring Vash's glare, "How have you been this past week?"

Knives looked over to Legato, if he was confused than you really couldn't tell. He stared at Knives, suddenly understanding the situation perfectly. One thing Knives failed to comprehend was the fact that his once dead minion now stood before him. Could Clone have some hidden power aside from her obvious telekinesis? Knives jumped as something touched his shoulder.

Clone looked at him with confused worry. "Father, are you ok? You seem distant," she turned an intense glare to Vash who shrunk in his chair, "_He_ didn't do anything to you, did he? 'Cause if he **did**-"

Knives foresaw the meaning and intercepted. "No, no. It's nothing. Really. I need to rest," he said getting up. He glanced at Legato, who nodded and followed Knives to his room. Clone stayed downstairs standing over Vash with her fist raised and staring at the stairs. The silence crept back into the kitchen with it's new refrigerator and stove, humming peacefully. Vash stood up and walked up the stairs, turning back to see Clone sit down and stare vacantly at the table top.

((In Knives' Room))

Knives sat at his table and stared at the fifth moon, looking gallant with its scarred face. He smirked, remembering that beautiful night. His brother could be easily manipulated with the right conditions. The plant sighed and turned to his minion, standing by the closed door, waiting eagerly for his master to speak. "Legato, what happened in LR?" he asked.

Legato shifted slightly. "When Vash the Stampede shot me, I died as was expected from a human. After a period of time that I could not determine, I was awakened by an urgent voice; and, before I knew it, I stood in the same spot I died before. I mistook your clone as you and followed her here, giving a report as I would with you and answering any questions she had." A small silence followed, while Knives contemplated this. An urgent voice? What could that mean?

He turned back to the window. Could his clone posses greater powers than any normal plant would? It was an interesting notion, but a dangerous one. He was lucky Clone didn't realize this and turn on him. He sighed once more and dismissed Legato to the room next to his own.

The plant stayed up later than usual, pondering what he would do next. He needed to get rid of Clone, **permanently**, and fast. He smiled and chuckled as the plan formed in his mind. It was almost too perfect. The moon rose high in the sky when he went to sleep, smiling.

((Morning))

The sun peeked through the floral curtains sending multihued lights dancing on the table. The lights swayed hesitantly in front of a resting head, sighing deeply in its sleep. She groaned slightly and opened her eyes, momentarily forgetting where she sat. As last night donned on her, she sighed deeply.

Maybe Father didn't like her. He talked to her like she were an annoyance. And looked at her like she had no purpose standing and breathing the precious air. Clone rested her head on the table with a soft thud, feeling the cricks in her back and neck. She needed to do something to get her mind off the morbid thinking and pain... At that point, she noticed the new appliances... _**Naw**_. Too obvious, and once was enough for her. She needed something _different_. Something _covert_. She smiled at the table, chuckling.

Suddenly the refrigerator opened and all its edible goodness floated outside to roll around in the sand so that no part was exposed. The cupboards did the same; and, for some odd reason, the donuts rolled especially long in the sand. Clone, satisfied that all the food was on the ground, stood up and stretched out her pains, closing the doors as she did so. She found her way to the couch and sat down, reading an earth book as she waited for everyone to wake up.

((In Meryl's Room))

Meryl sat up in her bed, shivering. For some reason, she had an urge to get more _groceries_... But that didn't make sense. Milly and herself went for groceries last night. She shrugged, got dressed in her morning robe and went downstairs. Clone sat on the couch reading one of Knives' books. _Oh yeah_. **She** was here. The short woman shook her head and continued to the kitchen. Through the doorway, she noticed Clone leave the house, taking the book with her and thought nothing of it.

Her slender hand opened the cupboard to find nothing in it... Oh **heck** no. She blinked a few times, every once in while her eye twitching. She sighed and walked to the refrigerator, opening it, calm from just waking up. Which faded quickly. She slammed the refrigerator door and screamed. "**CLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E**!"

Vash and Milly ran down the stairs, still wearing their p.j's. "Meryl!" They yelled in unison as the aforementioned picked up a kitchen knife and stalked toward the front door. Both Vash and Milly held the woman back. "Meryl, what's the matter? Why are you so mad?" Vash said, making a valiant attempt to calm her down. She turned around slowly and glared at him.

"Go check outside," she said, pointing towards the backdoor. Vash and Milly blinked and walked outside, still holding onto Meryl. They both gasped as they viewed the scene. It was a donut and pudding and any-other- thing-that-was-edible **nightmare!** Everything lay on the sand, covered with its grains. Vash and Milly collapsed and cried over the produce carnage. Meryl, finally free from their hands, sneaked back into the kitchen and grabbed another knife, just in case.

She ran toward the front door. "What's going on here!" yelled a voice behind her.She froze and turned around, glaring at Knives, who glared back.

"**YOUR** _clone_ threw out all the food we got last night. **WE BOUGHT 150$$ WORTH OF FOOD!** Now, it's laying on the ground outside," she yelled and turned her slightly insane look to the door, advancing toward it, "Now, I'm going to**_kill_** her. No more Clone. No more **WASTED MONEY!** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Knives raised an eyebrow as Meryl ran outside in her morning robe, holding a knife in each hand, screaming Clone's name as she hunted through the town. He shrugged and walked back up the stairs to his room. Eh, if she could do his job than less work for him. He found Legato standing in his room, wearing his normal coat. He looked towards the window at the sounds of Meryl's screaming, but said nothing. Knives cursed his brother for forcing him to wear "night clothes." He changed quickly and told Legato his plan, ignoring the sobbing coming from the back yard.

((Just Outside of Town...))

Clone sat on a sand dune and opened the book, relishing in the high- pitched screams. Ah, bliss. Humans were such _funny_ animals. They get so upset over produce and "money." Frankly, Clone didn't see the value in the pieces of paper and was **enraged** that humans could kill an innocent tree for such a pointless thing. When the world belonged to the Plants, she'd have to change that.

She sighed, closing the book, and looked across the horizon. All she wanted was to make Father happy. She thought torturing the humans he's trapped with might bring at least a little happiness... She glared at the ground. **Fine**! She would have to find some other way...

"_I found you_..." Clone froze. Ugh, the human wanted to hurt her. She turned around to meet the crazed look of the short spider. Her eyebrow raised in amusement. The spider dived at her with both knives flashing in the first sun's rays. Clone stepped aside, losing interest fast. A force slammed the human into the ground, making her squeal in pain.

Clone smiled. "_Pathetic human_. How **dare** you challenge me? And with such _primitive_ weapons." She picked up one of the knives, twirling it swiftly in her hand. Clone leaned over the girl. "Perhaps I should show you how to use it properly..." She placed the glinting edge to Meryl's neck, but couldn't move it any further.

"That's enough Clone." She looked up at Knives and Legato. She stood up, disappointment and confusion raging through her. The knife dropped to the ground and Meryl stood up, caught between two nonhumans who wanted nothing more to end her life. Clone held back her tears, in fear of showing a weakness to the humans around. She didn't look up at Knives; she knew how he was looking at her and that was something she didn't want right now.

((Fifteen Minutes Later...))

Clone sat in her Father's room, staring at the table's top. Her Father sat across from her, staring out the window at the raising suns. Legato was in his room, waiting patiently as always. The rest of the house was out buying new food products. The silence bore deep into her. She couldn't hide the fact that the event from earlier in the day bothered her. She really thought Knives didn't want the spider around. Why did he stop her from finishing the pathetic creature? Maybe he really _didn't _care for her... '_It was a failure_...' She remembered the words from their first meeting. **No**! Father would **never** think that! He _cares_ for her! He does. And she knows it.

She cursed herself for ever thinking such thoughts. Knives cleared his throat and turned to her. She looked up with a new spark of loyalty in her eyes. "I have another mission for you." She jumped with anticipation. Anything for Father! "I want you to find a Seeds ship and make it operational, so I might have an escapeshould anything go wrong with my plans." That made _perfect_ sense! Father was **always** thinking ahead and was **really** smart! "Take it into space and wait for twelve years to come down. That way I'll have time to conquer the humans and free our brethren," he finished, watching Clone smile.

She stood up. "I'll start on it right now! Don't worry about me, Father! I'll be back in twelve years with your spaceship!" she said, walking out the door.

Knives listened to the front door slam shut and watched Clone bound into the desert. He broke out laughing. It was **too** much! That clone _really_ thought she would be able to salvage a Seeds ship! Maybe she could, but that didn't matter. He had twelve years away from her. That is if she **LIVES** that long. Legato walked in. He sighed, calming down.

"See to it she **fails**." Legato nodded and walked back to his room. Why leave the house when he could monitor her from his own room? At least the morning's events proved that his minion could control Clone to an impressive extent. But something bothered Knives. Ah yes! He should have let Clone kill the spider. So why _didn't_ he? Oh well, he'll get his chance again. Besides it's not like he'll ever have to worry about Clone again.

Legato would see to it that she**died** and remained **_dead_**.

((((End))))

C-E: Looking back, I never really left a story off without a cliffhanger. What will happen to Clone? And will Legato get hotdogs? Wait and see in the next chapter of Clone!


	5. Impossible? HA!

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. But! I do own a HAMSTER! 

C-E: The chapter none of you expected to see! I'm sure you were cruising the fanfic pages and then-WHAM! My story hits you like a ton of rotted sardines! It pulled you in like a void found in your closet. Yes! My plan has worked! And now that you're her, you might as well read it. Anyway, the next chapter of

**Clone**

**Chapter Six:  
Impossible? HA!**

((((Start))))

The story picks up with a the rising sun peeking over the hunched horizon, lighting the sand with crimson fire. Five random people from the nearby town of LR are walking the sinking sands for some random reason involving a purple tennis ball.The group of people run across something half buried in the sand. They promptly dig it up and hull it into town.

Legato watches them leave from the niche he found in a sand dune. Prior to their arrival, Clone had passed out from the sun's heat. Legato planned to leave her and call the job done but those meddling kids came along and dug her up. He sighed and followed them into town.

((In LR...))

The town gathered outside the hotel, waiting patiently for something. Legato stood just outside the crowd, hidden in an alley.

"Yeah, the Thompson boys found her outside of town, buried in sand. I can't believe she came **back**! It's like she's ourproven leader or something." Legato listened to the mummers of the towns people.

"I hope she wakes up soon."

((In The Hotel))

Clone opened her eyes to the wooden ceiling. The last thing she remembered was walking 500 iles and collapsing from the heat, again. Then, she woke up here. Such a familiar place... She smacked her forehead. **LR**! _That _damn town.

Lilian peeked into the room. She walked in smiling as she noticed Clone awake. "Miss Clone, what a pleasure to see you. I hope you've healed. What's the matter?" she asks noticing Clone's confused look.

"I **killed** your father! Why are you so freakin' _nice_ to me?"

Lilian smiled as Clone shook her head and stood up. Clone sighed and turned to the girl. "I need a SEEDs ship. One that could supposedly fly would make it _easier_ on me."

Lilian looked down at the floor. "There is a ship near here, but... it can't fly and **half** of it is missing. It's been stripped of its engines for Sandsteamers and I don't think it has anymore plants."

Clone waved off her comments and walked out the room. She entered the street and was greeted by screams of delight. She froze and ran out of town, followed by the entire town chasing after her.

((Two Hundred Iles Outside of Town...))

Clone trudge through the sand, unknowingly being shadowed by Legato. She fell to her knees and took out a piece of paper and pen. Legato rested by a nearby sand dune, shielded from the suns. On the paper she scribbled something, smiling, and placed it under a rock. She stood up, dusting the sand off her suit, and continued toward the vague outline of the ship with renewed vigor. Legato waited for Clone to leave, then walked ot the note and read it.

'_Dear Father,_

_Right now, I am on my way to your ship. I hope to have it ready for you soon. Truthfully, I have no reason why I'm writing this because you might not find it. But if you do, I love you! It is the **only** reason why I haven't given up.  
I will do **anything** for you! Climb the **highest** mountain! Cross the **longest** desert! And- well you get it. I will never give up for you father! **NEVER!**_

_Clone_'

And for the first time in his **_entire_** life, Legato chuckled, which soon developed into uncontrollablelaughter. After his fit, he putthe letterback under the rock. He was going to kill her, might as well give her something to hope about. That, and he could use another good laugh.

((The SEEDs Ship))

Clone walked into the buried ship. She looked around at the broken pipes and dusty wires. The floor was mottled with soft sunlight that fell through the weathered steel. She walked through the ship and found the entire thing intact. Ha! That woman had no idea what she was saying.

She continued walking through the ship and walked to a familiar room. Inside was a cyrogenics cell connected to pipes and coils. She sighed. Figured she come back. Soon, she covered the entire ship and went to the control room. She looked at the controls. "I wonder if the thrusters work..." she said, touching the keys. Beep, beep, beep...

((Outside the Ship...))

Legato stood at the base of ship, looking into the hull. He shook his head and turned around, walking to the nearby dune. There was no way she would get that thing up. The thrusters were completely stripped from the ship. With that one thought, a burst of heat errupted from the ship. Legato spun around and stared amazed as sand was thrown from beneath the ship and heated to glass.

The fire kept up for a few minutes and then sputtered out. Legato blinked, shook his head, and walked to the dune to settle down and wait until Clone finished work so he could kill her and keep the ship for good measures.

((Four Months Later...))

Legato sat in the shade from the dune. For four months he had wondered at Clone's amazing progress, controlling passing animals to walk to him and kill themselves for food and controlling passing travelers for their water. The ship now looked as if it would on earth, ready for lift off. You probably couldn't tell right now, but Legato was impressed. Now, for four months he waited patiently and finally, Clone stepped outside the ship with her face mottled with grease and a jumpsuit she found in some unknown crevice of the ship, turned around, and admired her work.

She stared at the metallic happiness that she created. Like a mural for her father, the metal gleemed in the sun, resting on the spocks and ready for ignition. Yes sir,** nothing** could stop her now. She walked toward the door and fell to ground. "Meh?" What did she trip on? She heard footsteps behind her and saw Legato's boots fall next to her face.

"You are impressive as should be your kind. But, I am afraid I cannot let you be for much longer."

"Legato," she growled, "I thought you were **loyal** to father. But now I see your_true_ intention. Fine, I guess punishment is due..." She smirked.

Legato stepped back. He could control her body but her power was something different. Sure enough, he flew through the air, landing twenty feet from the starting point. Completely devoid of air in his lungs, Legato passed out and freed Clone.

She stood up, dusting herself off. Hmph, the **nerve** of that man. Father was sure to hear about this when he arrived. She smiled and walked back inside the ship. The craft lifted into the air, propelled by an incredible amount of force and rocketed into space. And for twelve years, Gunsmoke lived in _bliss_.

But peace would only last for twelve years...

((((End))))

C-E: Ooo! Another cliffhanger! Tell me when this starts to get annoying. The ship hit's the fan in the next chapter of Clone. What has changed in twelve years? How will Clone find anything on the new planet? And will Knives' love be changed by Clone's absent? Find out next time!


	6. The NEW Gunsmoke

Disclaimer: (See previous chapter) 

C-E: Two chapters at once. Man, I'm on fire! I wanted to talk about Clone unbelievable good luck. It's the power of LOVE, y'all! Yeah, that's it... Anyway! Prepare for this chapter of-

**Clone**

**Chapter Seven:  
The NEW Gunsmoke**

((((Start))))

_Space_... An infinite void where nothing exists but everything lives. It seems even more empty with no one around. What am I _doing _here? What is my _purpose_?

Clone lay across the captain's chair, staring at the ceiling. For twelve years, she played solitaire, recreated some of earth's oldest works of art, and developed a way to conquer world hunger. And now that she had lost track of time, she lay there just waiting. She sighed and closed her eyes. And...

**THWEEP THWEEP THWEEP!** She jumped, looking around. She saw the ship's monitor. 00:00. Oooh, the timer went off. She covered her ears and walked to the control panel, turning off the alarm. She stared at the screen, now showing a picture of Gunsmoke. For twelve years, she vowed not to look at the planet until her time was done and _now_... Spots of green and blue patches filled into the space between the white clouds.

Oh yeah. She could land now. She punched in some codes and felt the ship descend. She hopped anxiously and speed the descent up. Soon, the ship lurched from the earth's atmosphere. Red lights began to flash and an automatic voice came on over the speakers. **"CAUTION. SHIP'S VELOCITY IS TOO FAST. CRASH LANDING IS EMINANT**."

Clone tilted her head. "Eh, woops."

From Gunsmoke, you would see the ship fall into the ground with an impressive explosion. And from this explosion, you would see one object fly into the placid sky."_eeeeeeeeeeeee..._" It would scream and disappear into the horizon.

Clone hit the ground at an angle and skid for a few feet before stopping in front of a fallen ship. She pried her head out of the ground and looked around. Her eyes glowed with glee. All around, she saw grass and flowers, speckled with small ponds. She looked to the ship, shrugged, and went inside.

Happily she skipped inside the ship, stopping at a Plant room. She walked up to the bulb and laid her hand on the glass. It glowed and the plant came out to see her. Clone drew closer to the glass staring with amazed eyes. She pressed her face to the glass and smiled. The plant jumped as she moved her face against the glass. _Sqweee sqweee_.

"Are you my mother? Or maybe my aunt. I know!" Clone said, standing back. "You're my second cousin's niece's uncle's mother's cousin's brother's sister, twice removed. Right?"

The plant blinked. But before anything could be said, Clone heard something outside the room. She ran outside and ran into Legato... Wait, no. This was a **she**. Clone stepped back and grabbed "Legato" by her shoulders, staring into her eyes. The unknown female smelled strongly of alcohol. "Legato" squinted at her.

"Master?" she asked, slurring slightly.

Clone let her go. "You're not Legato, are you? Who are you then?"

"What are you talkin' abou? I'm Amy. Don cha' rememeber?"

Clone raised an eyebrow. "No. And from now on, you will be Legetta."

"But I'm-"

"**LEGETTA!**"

Amy sighed, "Yessir." Clone walked past her and she followed after, vowing never to get drunk again. Clone turned a corner and spied Knives, who soon fell against the wall with Clone attached.

"What the-" he saw his new growth and went pale. He started laughing and saw Amy. "AMY! Get her off me,_ NOW!_"

Amy nodded and Clone reluctantly let go of her father. Knives sighed, massaging his temples. Lord no. He thought he had rid of her once and for all. And now, he had his brother's faction and Clone to worry about. Oh well, at least he had Legato's daughter to help him. Although, she was an alcoholic. He regained composer and turned to Clone, smiling. Already his mind had a plan. "Clone, I have a job for you." He watched her jump excitedly. "My brother has become a pain. Find his faction and destroy it. I'll wait for you here."

Clone jumped up, saluted him, and ran outside. Knives yawned and walked to the ship's window, watching her skip through the grass. Amy walked to him. "Master, was I seeing double, because..."

Knives chuckled, "No Amy. You just met my clone. Don't worry, she won't live for very long."

((((End))))

C-E: I know, I know. It's a short chapter. But, hey! You get two of them! So, will Clone find Vash's quote unquote faction? And when she does, what surprises will be waiting there? Find out next time on CLONE!


	7. The Random Chapter That Has Nearly Nothi...

Disclaimer: I don't own Krispy Kream or Starbucks. LIKE I WOULD WANT TO! STUPID BIG COOPERATIONS! Oh, and I don't own Trigun. 

C-E: This is a special chapter of Clone. WARNING! Those of weak sanity, please stop reading now.

**Clone**

**Chapter Eight:  
The Random Chapter That Has Nearly Nothing To Do With The Story!**

((((Start))))**  
**

The first sun peeked over the silhouette of Little LR. Vash sighed, taking in the morning air. It has been ten years since he and his brother separated and started their once peaceful feud again. He smiled at his wife's sleeping form. The marriage was what broke their agreement. Ah, he should have listened to his brother's ramblings about Meryl. Oh well, what's done is done. And now, the two brothers have organized the best men in their power to fight each other.

Vash got out of bed, trying not to disturb Meryl. He walked to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Vash had no intention of using humans to fight in his place. In fact, the town **wanted** to help Vash defeat his brother. He sighed and took a shower. Every since that day, Vash had lost his childish antics. The proposition of fighting his brother and the birth of his only daughter squelched the youthful flame inside him.

Hey, it _couldn't _get worse.

((Outside Little LR))

Clone entered the deserted town. The wind whistled and a tumble weed rolled by. She sighed, walked up to the closest house, and pounded on the door. A dark haired teenager answered with groggy eyes. Something about her reminded Clone of Uncle Spiky Head (aka Vash). She shook her head and glared at the child. "Take me to the elder of your community, _spider_."

The child yawned and looked at her. "The mayor?" she drawled.

Clone waved the words off, "Yes, yes. Whatever."

The girl turned around and walked inside with Clone following. They arrived at a door and the girl knocked. "Dad, someone's here to see you."

"I'm coming Didrean." a voice muttered from behind the barricade. That _voice_. Where had Clone heard it before? She stood, pondering deeply, completely oblivious of the door opening and Vash yelling.

"**YOU!** WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Clone looked up to see Vash, wide-eyed. She chuckled.

Oh yeah.

She opened her mouth and blacked out as Vash hit her over the head.

He stood there with wife at his elbow and daughter standing before him, all staring at the passed out Clone. Vash had hit her over the head with his gun which he recovered when Knives left. Meryl sighed, muttering something like -not her again- and walked back to the bed to sleep. Didrean looked at her father.

"Dad?..."

Vash laughed and coughed nervously, "Don't worry honey. It's a really long story. Just go back to your room. I'll take care of all of this." Didrean shook her head and walked back downstairs. Vash growled at Clone's body and hefted her into a guest room to recover.

((Later))

Clone opened her eyes to the wooden roof of an unknown ceiling. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking around at her surroundings. A round table with two chairs stood in the far corner of the room next to the bathroom entrance. Her bed burned with the mornings light as it sifted through the window overhead. Her eyes ventured out the window to meet with an awe inspiring garden that took Clone's breath.

Anxious, she ran outside, barefoot, to meet the infinite green and vivid colors only present in earthly dreams. Her knees gave way and she landed softly in the middle of sun bright daffodils. The smell was intoxicating as she laid back and stared at the endless blue sky. _Bliss_.

A blue butterfly gently flitted to land on the closest daffodil. Clone sat up and watched its contrasting wings fold to reveal its red under color. While Clone watched the butterfly, another just like it landed next to her. Then another, and another. Until the entire field was blue and red mottled with yellow, suffocating bursts. Clone tilted her head and stood up. The butterflies froze, some turned as if looking at her. She flinched as little high pitched voices started cackling. "_kekekekekeke. we see through your bones. the bees come down. the bees come down! kekekekekeke._"

Clone stepped back and heard crunches as she stepped on the fragile insects; but, when she looked down she saw iridescent beetles squirming over her bare feet. Her face dropped and her shoulder twitched.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She ran screaming from the garden and into the house. She hit the stove hard, stopping her progress. She leaned over the appliance, trying to catch her breath, noticing the odd smell and hissing sound coming from the stove. Her eyes widened and she jumped back as Milly walked down the stairs cheerful as always.

"Hello, Ms. Clone! Eggs as always?" she asked walking to the stove, completely ignoring the gas leak.

"N-" Clone squeaked too late. Milly turned on the burner and BOOOOOOOM! Clone turns into the first human to go Mach 5. Er, plant. Or whatever. She lands face first in a random town square. Coughing dust and wiping sand from her face, she warily checks her surroundings. To one side she saw a Krispy Kream. To the other she saw a Starbucks. She tensed, noticing she sat right in the middle of the two.

Dong Dong. She turned around to see the clock tower strike noon. "Oh cr-"

Alas, our hero is trampled by the hungry teenagers just out of school for lunch. The Krispy Kream manager, wearing a red suit with matching tail and horns, stood smiling evilly at the lunch crowd of gullible students buying his donuts that contain brain controlling chips. He turned to look at Starbuck's owner, similarly dressed except with black standing outside his shop and glaring back.

Clone's trampled body poofed back to normal and she stood up, only to be caught between two evil manipulators, summoning their hordes of desperate teenagers to fight each other in a war of breakfast sustenance.

"You will not take my recruits from me!" the red one said, as demonic flames sprouted from the ground and skinny, pale high schoolers rose from the fire.

"It's not my fault the younger of society wishes to act mature by drinking coffee," the black one says, as dark haired ravers rose from blackened earth.

Clone hung her head and took two deep breaths. "one... two...thr- screw it. **SHUT UP!**"

Everyone stopped just noticing the woman standing in the middle of the battle field. She exhaled. "You guys own huge businesses, right?" the two managers nodded. Clone pointed to the red one, "You own a shop that makes fluffy donuts but really bad coffee." She pointed to the black one, "You own one that makes excellent coffee but horrid pastries." She put her hands together, speaking slowly. "Why-don't-you-join-companies?"

She spread her hands, looking back and forth from the two. They stared at her and then at each other. The fire erupted again and Clone screamed. Unfortunately, for some weird and unexplained reason, the C-4 in Starbuck's coffee house was ignited by the fire and Clone became a human Blue Angel again.

She flew into the sky and landed crashed through the clouds... Wait. _Crashed?_ Clone sat up and looked around. She saw a couched covered in leopard print with one leg replaced by a heavy text book and smelled (for sake of a better word) funky. In front of the couch that seemed as if it were picked up from the side of the road, was a cinder block with plywood on top, serving a table. She turned around and saw a full wall plasma tv with her on it staring at the tv. Her mouth dropped and someone walked in.

"Hey, Lauren where'd you-" she stopped seeing Clone. She had shoulder length brown hair and stood six foot nine, staring at Clone. Her face scrunched up in what Clone identified as anger and yelled, "**LAUREN!** WHAT THE DID YOU DO THIS TIME?"

Another woman, a foot shorter than the first, walked in with untamed short brown hair and yellow tinged glasses wearing some boxers she found somewhere and a t-shirt that had a smiley face with messed hair and uneven eyes with "My ninjas could beat your God" printed beneath it. She stumbled in, rubbing the back of her head. "wha?"

The tall one pointed to a confused Clone. "Who is_ **that?**_"

The short one walked over to Clone and squinted at her. "Gaw, don't you know anything? That's Clone. The character we're messin' with."

"I know that, what's she doing _here?_"

Lauren held her head in her hands, thinking hard. "Oh yeah! I had this idea and well, yeah. What's that matter, Ash? You said I had control of the game then."

Ashley smacked her head, "I didn't mean you could destroy the story by bringing the audience here and bring **US** into the story."

Lauren smiled. "Oh well, she won't stay here long. In fact," Lauren looked at the watch that suddenly appeared on her wrist, "she'll be leavin' in ...**NOW!**" POOF! Clone appeared in the room she started in. She shrugged and fell asleep.

Back in heaven, Ashley smacks Lauren over the head and tells her to fix the fourth wall and not do that again.

((Back To Reality))

Clone woke up to find the room as before but with Vash sitting at the table. He seemed serious and for a short period the awkward silence was deafening. Vash sighed. "Knives sent you, right?"

"yessssss." Clone said, squinting suspiciously. Vash sighed.

"Clone, a lot has happened. I think we should tell you everything before you start killing everything."

((Two Hours Later))

Vash finished his story and watched Clone's still glaring face. Ah, well. Like father, like daughter. Er, clone. "The reason I'm telling you this is because we need your help to sto- er, _help_ Knives. If you can act like him, you can infiltrate his army and help them become stronger." He finished, relieved to see Clone's smile. Perfect! And with his daughter's psychic abilities, controlling Clone will be a breeze. The information will be his and the army's threat will be nulled, making peace the only answer.

Nothing could possibly go wrong!

((((End))))

C-E: Ok, tell me if you people have any questions about this chapter. The plot begins to form and will go pretty fast after this. Just to tell you, my friend and I are on the fourth year of Clone. But it's funny as all bunnies! Stay tuned for the next chapter when we have a ASK LEGETTA! Special! Aka I'm too lazy to write the next chapter. R&R! Flames definitely welcome!


	8. This Is Your Mind On Clone

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or anything associated with its name. 

C-E: Okay, okay. I'm sorry, no Ask Legetta section. But I will fill in a few things about her. Her mother died and she was trained to serve master Knives; until her father's untimely death in a freak laundry accident (you'll find out later). I'm sure I'll try and fill in everything else as time passes. Forgive me for my inexcusable hiatus. Semester exams and all. Oh, and on a sad side note. Vash Potter may be revised or taken off fanfic. Depends on how I feel about the storyline (and right now, it's not boding very well). WELL! Enough news, let's get to the story!

**Clone**

**Chapter Nine:  
This Is Your Mind On Clone**

((((Start))))

((In Little LR))

Clone looked up at the ceiling. For two straight hours that little, enigmatic spot had entertained her as Vash ran about outside gathering the towns people for some "important" reason. She was absolutely giddy about the thought of helping her father! But that only last for about thirty minutes. Now, she was just plain bored.

And when you're bored, just about everything can become amusing. Like Vash's secret stash of highly explosive firecrackers! Hey, if he didn't want Clone to find them he should've put a stronger lock on it and hidden the crowbar... Ok,ok. She already had the crowbar, but you get my drift.

Oh, but firecrackers can only last so long. Unless you have something to explode, like, say... A TOILET! Clone stood over the toilet with a M-750 and a match.

"No, Mr. Toilet, I don't expect you to _flush..._" shick, fwoosh. "I EXPECT YOU TO **DIE!** MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" ker-plunk.

((Downstairs))

Looking back, he really shouldn't left Clone in the room alone. What with all the dangerous things he keeps hidden from Meryl, it really isn't a surprise he heard that blast and the maniacal laughter after it. He sighed and jogged down the hall to his room. He reached the doorway and stared at the water flooding the floor. "Clone..." he said, stepping into the bathroom where Clone stood laughing like a maniac and holding another firecracker in her hand.

She points at the few, charred, porcelain pieces of what remained of the toilet. "**SO!** How does it feeeeel Mr. Toilet! Yeah. Not too nice to be strewn across the FLOOR IN MILLIONS OF TINY PIECES, HUH! MWUAHAHAHAHA- Oh! Hi Uncle Spiky Head!" she said, adding a wave and hiding the firecracker behind her back. She looks over her shoulder. "You're probably wondering why your toilet is a pitiless mess. Well. It's a long and complicated story that must go back to the beginning of time, so I won't bore you with it! Ok, now what is it you want?"

Vash narrowed his eyes. "You're very lucky I was just about to get you." sigh, "I'll have to fix that later. Come on, you need to get ready. Clone, how do you feel about getting a haircut for the better of huma- butterflies and your -" cringe, "father?" he finished, leading Clone out of the room.

((Ten Minutes Later))

"**_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_**" Clone fell to the floor, clawing at the wood. Meryl and Vash along with a few other villagers dragged her back into the room, where a set of new clothes and a pair of scissors were waiting for her.

Didrean simply stood there watching her until the door slammed shut. She chuckled at Clone's screams. Her father had already explained everything to her. They would disguise Clone as Knives and send her back to Knives' camp to infiltrate the army. Of course her father didn't expect Clone to agree to this and she'd probably catch on sooner or later; that was when Didrean stepped in with her psychic powers and would take hold of Clone's mind and complete the mission. Simple.

But Didrean already read Clone's mind to get a grasp of the intensity of power and found that things are rarely simple around her. She sighed and sat back at the Meeting Room's conference table. The door creaked open and Clone walked out, still fuming. Vash led her to a chair and the table quickly filled.

Vash sighed and Didrean peeked into his mind. Oh god. I'm going to hate myself for this. But Meryl wants this..

"Clone," he glanced at Meryl's stern glare, "I wasn't telling you the truth before. You see," sigh "We'reusingyoutoinfiltrateKnives'armysowecanfinallydefeathimandsaveallofhumanity..."

Clone raised her eyebrow and Meryl sighed. "...Oh, ok." Clone perked up and glared at Vash. "WAIT! **WHAT DID YOU SAY?**" She said jumping up. Didrean went into her mind where her conscience stood scrutinizing. Didrean blinked.

"What are you doing?"

"SH! SH! I'm trying to decide!"

Didrean growled and looked into the conscience's mind. "YOU'VE GOT TO BE **KIDDING** ME!" Two other Clone look-alikes, one with angel wings and another with demon wings were arguing.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"please stop..."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Please STOP!"

The two consciences looked at her and then immediately went back to arguing. Didrean twitched and stepped in between the two. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"

The demon pointed at the angel, "SHE thinks we shouldn't kill Vash."

The angel growled, "HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BAD! IT'S NOT** HER** FAULT VASH HAD TO LIE TO HER!"

Didrean sighed. "Look, this shouldn't be too hard to decide. Why can't you two compromise?"

The consciences laughed. Demon finally caught her breath to answer. "Oh, you're great! We can't compromise because WE can't decide on what to do."

"ohpleaseno."

"Yeah," Angel piped in, "Our consciences can't deci-"

Didrean opened her eyes to Clone being held back by Meryl as Vash whimpered behind a chair. She sighed and walked to Clone who glared at the child. "What?"

Didrean glared back, "You're weird."

"Didrean!" Vash yelled, still hiding, "Clone, please. We really need your help. And if you do this and bring Knives back, you'll be able to care for him and get his favor."

Clone stared at Vash and slowly smiled. "I'M OFF!" All that was left of Clone was a giant dust cloud and a sonic boom. Didrean sat down at the table as Vash walked to stand behind her.

"Will you be ok, honey? It's not too bad, is it?"

Didrean sighed and looked up to her father. "...Naw, it's not that bad. I'll be ok. Just let me do this in silence."

"Ok," Vash left the room along with everyone else, leaving the teenager alone to hit her head on the table.

((In The Middle of Nowhere))

Clone tucked and rolled on the desert ground, singing the mission impossible theme. "Dum dum dumdum dum dum dumdum. Doodle-doooooo doodle-doooooo **DOO DOO!** OW CRAP! STUPID ROCK!... ARE YOU MOCKING ME? **DIE!**" she screams, lunging for the random rock. Suddenly, she doesn't want to attack the rock. All she wants to do is complete her mission.

She shrugs and continues her "stealthy" way through the desert; until, she doesn't want to do that either. Now, Clone was never very smart, but this was making her suspicious. That is until she got to father's base. And the only thing she felt was overwhelming joy.

"EEE!" she squealed. Until, once again, she wanted to be quiet and complete the mission. So, she gained a stern expression, walked up to the ship, and banged on the door. Immediately, Amy (Legetta) opened and stared her Master (s clone). "Master, I thought you were going to train the troops..."

"I was, until their incompetence overwhelmed me. I stepped outside to calm down before I took their heads off." Clone said, mimicking Knives' voice perfectly. For some reason, Clone wanted to imitate her father without even thinking about the immorality of it all. Soon, Clone was walking the halls and taking mental notes of every armory in Knives' possession; instead of running around trying to find Knives.

Now, Clone knew something was wrong. She walked to the control room and sat at the panel, entering her own mind. There she found Didrean messing with her controls. "A **HA!** You! I should have known something was wrong. It was you and you're freakish mind ability!"

"Telepathy?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

"Um, sure. But first, tell me why only one side of your conscience is in here," Didrean said, pointing to the Clone conscience currently preoccupied with a piece of string.

"Oh, that's because I locked away the other one."

"'Other one?'" Didrean echoed, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah! It kept trying to make me unloyal toward my father. Something about how he was using me... So, I locked the sucker away. She's over there and the titanium, concrete reinforced cage with hand print access and padlock. Here's the key. OH! LOOK IT'S AN ICE MACHINE! Later!" Clone said, leaving the key behind.

Didrean sighed, picked the key and unlocked the padlock. All the was left was the hand print... Didrean walked to the innocent conscience... **AND SHOT HER IN THE HEAD! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**- er... Yeah. She dragged the body over to the hand pad and put the limp hand in the red pad. "Access accepted. Welcome Clone."

Ka-chink. Creeeeeaaaak. Didrean stared into the darkness, shrugged when she found nothing, and went to the control panel. She froze as she watch the monitor. Ice cubes were flying from the machine and hitting the passing soldiers who were screaming about a ghost. "Oh my gosh."

((After Clone Left Her Mind))

"WEEE! ICE MACHI-" Clone stopped and looked around. Somehow, she felt lighter. She looked at the table and gasped. Her body was still sitting at the table!

"Oh _**COOOOOOL!**_ MWUAHAHAHAH! I'M A GHOST! OO! An ice machine!" She floated over to the machine and pushed the bar that dispensed ice. Kisha Kisha Kisha. "Coool."

"WHAT THA-!" She turned around to see a random soldier staring at the machine with wide eyes. "G-G-G-GHOST! _**RUN!**_" he yelled, running from the kitchen. And soon, the entire infantry was standing at the kitchen door, trying to slay the "mighty ghost." Of course, Clone wasn't going to let this go to waste and promptly began throwing ice at the flinching soldiers, laughing maniacally all the time.

Unfortunately, Clone's "spirit" was grabbed by her body and stuffed into an empty pickle jar. Clone glared at herself and clawed at the glass. Now, if you didn't know that a spirit was in a seemingly empty jar, like our soldier friends, and you suddenly saw little claw marks appear on its surface, you'd probably run away peeing your pants too.

Clone's body (currently under Didrean's control) sighed and glared at the little evil spirit. (Note: To stint any confusion, only psychics can see spirits.) "Well, at least now I won't have to worry about you _screwing_ everything up. But, just to make sure you stay out of my way..." The big Clone walked over to the bathroom and lifted the toilet's cover.

Clone's spirit could be heard yelling in slightly comedic (oh hell, who am I kidding? It was hilarious! The god's were rolling when they heard this voice). "AHA! SO, WE MEET AGAIN MR. TOILET! OH! No it is your comrade. **MR. FLUSHIE!** Very well, you shall suffer the dame fate as your frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-!" She yelled as Didrean dropped into the watery abyss and flushed.

Didrean walked out of the bathroom, unknowingly smiling. Amy stood at the doorway, staring at her "Master."

"Master, what were you doing in the _bathroom?_"

Didrean chuckled, "Just taking care of business, Amy. Nothing for you to worry about. It won't bother us again," she said, walking past the confused minion, whistling.

((((End))))

TO BE CONTINUED!

C-E: YAY! Another chapter of Clone! I have this great new idea for a story, but I promised to write another WNF; so, I'll do that first. But, it's a magical girl parody with Meryl and Milly. COME ON! How could you not get antsy over that! Plus, the parents are perfect! Not what you'd expect but not completely irrational! Review and tell me if you guys are up for it! Until next time, keep your friends close and THE MONKEYS CLOSER! AHHHH! THERE'S ONE NOW!


	9. Random Chapter II

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun! 

C-E: Quick ten minute story time!

**Clone**

**Chapter Ten:  
****Random Chapter II**

((((Start))))**  
**

((In The "Dorm of Gods" aka God College))

Lauren, the lazy god, was sitting on the funky couch watching the twenty-four hour marathon of Thunder Hamster cough, cough when Ashley, the god who actually does stuff, walked in and s2��No!"

Ashley sat on the couch that Lauren left and turned to the Clone plotline and said, "Lauren! What the heck are you doing to our plot?"

Lauren, in the middle of her robot-ninja battle said, "I told you! I was watching the marathon!111"

Then the world exploded.

((((THE END))))

C-E: TIMES UP!


	10. The Ending of One Year and The Foreshado...

Disclaimer: Trigun own no do I. 

C-E: After a full chapter of WNF I like to rewind by writing a chapter of crazinees! Crazines craziiii- uh whatever. AKA! Clone. FUNNINESS! Enjoy.

**Clone**

**Chapter Eleven:  
The Ending of One Year and The Forshadowing of The Next**

((((Start))))**  
**

SCREEEECH SCREEEECH. Vash panted, leaning on the toilet Meryl made him get to replace the one Clone massacred. Currently, he was pushing it into the newly renovated bathroom. Shkoolp! Clingclingclingcling. He leaned over the porcelain appliance to look at the exposed pipe and a little empty pickle jar, rolling on the floor. Curiosity overtook him and he picked up the little jar... AND SHOOK IT!

High-pitched screams made Vash drop the bottle and hide behind the toilet. He slowly poked his head out from behind the toilet, staring at the little bottle that rolled on the floor with his eyes wide. "Wow... **A HAUNTED BOTTLE!**"

He ran over to the bottle again and picked it up, shaking it really hard. More high-pitched screams could be heard and claw marks appeared on the glass surface. "Cool! I wonder what else I could do with this..." he said, looking around the room for ideas. His eyes fell on his broken dresser with firecrackers poking out, a case of hydrochloric acid, a hammer, and the stove in his mini-kitchen. "Man, I'm hungry!"

He walked over to the stove and stared at the burners (don't worry they were off). Then, he looked at the bottle in his hand and, by some random connection of neurons to axons, he decided something. "Maybe I can cook the bottle!"

So, in a few minutes, the stove now held a pot with boiling water and a pickle jar inside the pot. Vash watched the floating jar, stirring it occasionally. As the jar got hotter, more high-pitched screams could be heard. Vash poked the jar with his wooden ladle. "Hmm. Not done yet... Oh what am I saying! Man, I haven't had this much fun since before Didrean was born!" He turned off the stove and picked up the jar.

"What now..."

"VASH! Have you gotten the toilet installed yet?"

Vash glanced at the porcelain piece sitting in the middle of his room. "Yes, dear!" he giggled, running outside with the bottle in his hand. He looked up and down the street and ran to his "Secret Hideout" a.k.a the boarded up house on the outside of town. Inside, the gunman refurbished the place for reasons unknown.

He locked the door and opened the "weaponry" aka the closet which was filled with a variety of dusty weapons. He set down the bottle and rummaged through the closet. "I know it's here somewhere..." Kathink. Clinkclinkclinkclinkclink... He turned around with machete to find the bottle rolling away on its side.

He smiled and picked up the jar, "Sorry little guy. But, I'm not done with you yet. Although, how you fell over on your side and started rolling away, is beyond me! Now, where did I put it?" The former gunman rummaged through the closet until he found what he was looking for... A SLINGSHOT!

He put the bottle in the sling and pulled back. "Alright, I only have one chance at this..." Slip. Twang! Dinkdinkdinkdink. Splish! "Crap! Not the toilet!" he said, running over to the toilet when his hand slipped and hit the flush handle. Flush. Vash watched in vain as his only entertainment, after twelve years of grueling misery, go down the drain...

"BUT! I will not stopped!" he yelled, jumping up, "**TO THE****SEWER!**" Thumpthumpthump thump thump...

((In The Sewers))

Clone sat crossed-legged with her arms crossed as she floated in the mysterious liquid beneath the surface. "Note: Next time I get a chance... **KILL VASH!**" She lay down, thanking the all powerful masters of this story, that the jar is waterproof.

She sighed. "Man, I need a banjo or to randomly pop out of a drain in Father's hideout...Any minute now would be convenient... (C-E: STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!) " Then, suddenly, a sewer fish grabbed the bottle in its mouth and swam down until it met a waterfall, where it met its untimely death after spitting out the bottle, which flew through the air until it hit the wall, ricocheting into another pipe.

"Well, that was entertaining..."

((Back At Knives' Base, Inside Clone's Body))

Didrean walked to the troops room followed by the ever loyal Amy. She was desperately trying to avoid Knives at any cost; and, since it had been a couple of hours since Clone escaped, Didrean thought Knives would be at the kitchen trying to convince his troops that ghosts did not exist. This job was going to be easier than she thought thanks (surprisingly) to Clone.

But, as Didrean happily controlled the crazed Clone, she neglected the supposedly empty box behind her. The same box that held the darker side of Clone's conscience which crawled out of its confines and dusted itself off. She smiled at the child standing behind the body's controls and wandered over to the unsuspecting Didrean. Clone's conscience leaned down to the child's level... "Boo."

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**" POOF! Didrean disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the evil Clone cackling as she sat at the controls. She twined her fingers together as she sneered at the monitor. "So, what's has my lesser side been up to, lately?..."

((Outside Clone's Body))

Amy opened the door to the observation room. "Master, I insist you stay in here to observe the troops for now on." the psychic said, bowing.

Clone-Knives snorted and walked outside, followed by a surprised Amy. "Nonsense. I must be in person to train my troops. In fact, Amy go fetch me a cattle prod," the Knives look-alike said with an evil smile, "I'm going to make these men as merciless as the spiders they are, even if I have to make them cry tears of blood." She chuckled as Amy handed her the prod.

((Ten Minutes Later))

Knives (the real one) stalked down the hall. After the entire "ghost" episode with the pathetic excuses of soldiers, he really did not feel like bothering with another spider for as long as he LIVE-

"Master Knives! We have reports of an intruder in Sect...ion... Um, sir?"

Knives turned on the soldier towering over the poor human with flames spouting from his eyes. "You do know I could kill you easily, _human._" Knives growled as the man sank to the floor.

"P-p-pleasesirforgiveme,butIthoughtyoumightwanttoknow..."

Knives stepped back, rubbing his temples. "Tell me later. In fact, I'll spare your life if you get me some aspirin." Knives said as the man ran down the hall. He continued his walk down the hall into the plant room where his trapped siblings waited for their freedom.

"Brethren, I know you have waited a long time for your freedom," he said, sitting down in front of the bulbs, "However, my brother has proven a _greater_ threat than I originally thought. His many years of fighting expertise gave him the upper hand. But," he chuckled, "My brother has many weaknesses which can easily be exploit-"

"Sir! Here's the aspi...rin. Oh, crap."

Knives sighed, "You're lucky I need every man in my troops." He stood up, yanking the bottle from the soldier's hands. "Take me to my troops, _spider._"

The soldier took the front until they reached the training grounds. The soldier cracked open the door and peered outside. SLAM! He turned around, blocking the door, to his angered master.

"Um, sir. Maybe we should come back some other time. Like, a _**long**_ time from now." He said, smiling as Knives' glare hardened.

"Step aside, human!" Knives flung the soldier aside and opened the door.

((Outside))

Clone stepped back, tossing the cattle prod over her shoulder. "Damn, ran out of batteries." She looked at her troops that wore no shirts and torn pants with war paint on their stern faces. She smiled and turned to Amy. "Go fetch me the armories greatest weapons. I believe these men are ready for it..."

So, Knives stared at his shirtless troops chasing a sand worm with nothing but plastic sporks, screaming.

"**OLILILILILILILILILILILILIIIIIIIIIII!**" they yelled as they brought down another worm before Knives' eyes. Twitch.

"AMY!"

"Master?" Amy said behind her master, making Knives jump and turn around.

"What the **HELL** is going on here!"

Amy stared at Knives for some time, confused. "Master, you're the one who trained them..."

"**WHAT!** I haven't been here for the last _twenty minutes!_ Because, some **IDIOT** decided it would be funny to scare my men by creating a 'ghost'" Knives said doing the air quotes. He stood panting as Amy hit her forehead with the palm of her hand.

She sighed, "Master, we have an intruder."

((Back With Vash))

Squilk, squilk, squilk. Vash trotted into his living room covered in sewer yuck. He plopped onto the couch and leaned his head back. "Oh well, good things can't last forever." He sighed and closed his eyes.

The gunman was about to sleep when something poked him. "Mmmph!"

"Dad."

"Five more minutes."

"Dad! I really need to talk to you."

"Didrean, go talk to your mo...ther..." He opened his eyes and stared at his daughter.

"I think the mission failed. Should we take offensive actions before Knives tries to attack us now?"

"... Honey, how long have you been out?"

"Long enough," she shrugged than raised an eyebrow, "Why are you covered in, um, muck and smell like crap?"

Vash stood up patting Didrean on the head that flinched under the smell, "It's a long story, let's go get your mom." He said walking to the kitchen followed by Didrean, holding her nose.

((Back With The "Good" Clone))

"Two bottles of water on the wall! Two bottles of water! HEY! I'm here." SQUOOLP! Tish! "FREEDOM!" she said, floating up from the shards of glass and through the bathroom door. "Now, to find my Father!"

Float, float, float. "Hmm, 'SECRET ROOM OF HIGHLY DANGEROUS THINGS' Awesome! Surely, Father is in there!" She passed through the door and saw the silhouette of Knives in front of a computer monitor. She floated up behind him and gasped!

"YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!"

Knives-Clone turned around and smiled at the ghost-Clone. "Well, well. There you are. I was starting to wonder what happened to you! Now," she pulled out a jar and trapped Clone inside, "I'll deal with you as soon as I'm done with this."

Knives-Clone turned back to the monitor and set ghost-Clone by the monitor. Ghost-Clone looked at the monitor and gasped (again)! "'Necromancy!' Who are you trying to resurrect!"

Knives-Clone stepped back and began the steps. "Silly child. No wonder you're so easily tricked. Now, be quiet as I resurrect the Gung-Ho Guns."

((Outside Knives' Fort))

Vash pulled the binoculars from his eyes and glared at the encampment. Didrean sat next to him, crossed legged with Meryl setting up the picnic. "So, we'll stay here while you go fight your brother in yet _another_ epic battle, dear." Meryl said, giving Didrean a sandwich.

Vash propped himself on his elbow and surveyed the fort. "Right, it shouldn't take me long. I'll be back before dinner!" The gunman jumped up and ran down the sand dune at top speed.

Didrean watched her father get trampled by a troop of crazed, screaming men with sporks. "Mom, was he always like this?"

"Honey, you have _no_ idea. Eat your potato salad."

((Inside The Fort With Knives(the real one)))

He sat at in the observatory, rubbing his temples as Amy poured another glass of wine for the two of them. Knives sighed. "So, there's an intruder in my base who is imitating me and making my troops better than I could have _ever_ trained them."

Amy nodded giving Knives the glass of wine. "The intruder even fooled me."

Knives tasted the wine and sighed, trying to take in all this information. "Alright, you will stay with me until we capture this intruder. And then we'll-"

"KNIVES!"

Crish! Knives broke the wine glass as his eye twitched. Amy walked to the window and looked down. "Master, I believe Vash is here for you."

Knives stood up breathing deeply, "Then, let's go meet him," he growled.

((Back With Clone))

SHIIING! Doomdoomdoomdoom. The room filled with a blinding light as Knives-Clone cackled and a fleshy hand rose from the sign of blood on the ground. Ghost-Clone stared wide-eyed as more of the figure rose from the ground. "Ew, gross!"

"You're right. Let's leave." Knives-Clone said, picking up the bottle and leaving the resurrection behind. She closed the door and walked to the main room where she froze. Knives and Vash rolled on the ground, fighting as Amy watched them. "Um, we're going to stay away from there..." The Knives Clone said, walking into another uniformed room. She opened the bottle and let Clone float free, then exited the body herself.

"Let's end this..." Fwooah. The clones glared at each other, waiting for the other to attack.

((In The Room of Bad Things))

Wolfwood looked around the room. Thankfully he was wearing the clothes he died in... Wait. "What tha hell? God, I need a cig." He left the glowing pentagram and walked to the closest closet that he could smoke in. He opened the door and his jaw dropped. "No way... A WHOLE CLOSET OF CIGARETTES!"

((Back With The Clones))

"Noogie noogie noogie noogie!" Knives-Clone said with Clone in a headlock, rubbing her knuckles against her head.

"Owowowowowowow! Ya!" Clone flipped the torturing Clone through the air and floated away. Knives-Clone passed through the wall and stopped, floating back to the room.

"You idiot! It's not like a wall can hurt us. Why is the door open? _**Oi**_, she forgot she could pass through walls. Well, little voice in my head you can't hide forever. _I will find you..._" she said, floating into the hallway.

The other Clone frantically floated down the hall, rubbing her head. "Ow, that really hurt! Oh! What's this? A smoking closet!... FIRE!" she flew into the closet and ran into Wolfwood's lit cigarette. FWOOOSH!

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**" She flew around on fire and managed to go outside where the evil Clone waited, unfortunately, she caught on fire too. That's when Wolfwood stepped outside to see two flaming things and a currently resurrected Legato...

"Oh hell!" Wolfwood yelled seeing the psychopath's monotone smile. "Ahem. I mean. Hey! What are you doin' here? And please don't ask about those..." he said, pointing to the frantic lights.

Legato chuckled and walked past the nervous priest and into the room where Knives held Vash down with his foot on his leg. "**HA!** WHO GOT SERVED! Oh, Legato! What are doin- **Oh my god!** Legato what the hell are you doing here?" he said, running off Vash and to Legato but he stopped as he saw Amy was hugging him.

"DADDY! You're alive!"

Legato looked to Knives. "Help, master." He mouthed. Knives chuckled and walked over to Legato.

"Nice to see you again, but your daughter is your own problem. Now, go cause Vash eternal pain."

"Master," Legato said, pushing Amy aside, "Where is Vash?"

"**WHAT?**"

((In The Hallways))

Vash panted, leaning against the wall. "Hey, spikey."

"Oh, hi Wolfwooooo-** AHHHHHHH!**" Vash yelled, falling down and crawling away. "Wh-wh-what!"

Wolfwood leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, "Yeah. That's what I thought too. So, what have you been up to? Oh, and have you seen two flaming- wait. There they are."

"EEEEEEEEEEE!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The priest chuckled as Vash tried to catch his breath. Finally, the gunman stood up only to be tackled by a crazed Knives followed by Legato and his daughter. "Hey, psychopath and psychopath look alike, wanna go somewhere else?" he said stepping past the fighting brothers.

Legato stared at the violent mass, "Yeah, let's go watch the two fireballs," he said smiling with Amy latched to his arm.

((Back With The Clones))

Splish! Fwisssssssssh. Both Clones climbed out of the toilet and sat on the seat to catch their breath. Their eyes met and they stiffened. Fwoosh! They flew into the air and stared each other down.

"Let's take this outside."

"Yes, of course."

So, into the hall they went; the same hall that Vash and Knives were still fighting in. The Clones began their own fight that was so epic and exciting that only your immense imagination can conjure the action that went down. And all the time the psychics watched with growing amusement.

Until, WHAM! Fwee fwee. SQUOOLP (C-E: ...I'm sorry.) The clones ran into each other during a "flying" kick and merged into one. Of course, only Legato and Amy actually saw this soooo.

"Wow. Don't see that every day, huh dad?"

"Where's the popcorn?" Legato's monotone voice asked.

"Dad..."

Vash eventually beat Knives and dragged him outside to Meryl and Didrean who were now on desserts. The now single Clone shook her head and looked around to find no other Clone and her empty body. "Hey! I found you!" she entered her body and now I don't have to go through all the craziness of her consciences again.

((At The Human Settlement Two Months Later))

The house seemed a lot stuffier since Vash dragged Knives back and he fell into a coma. Amy was trying to bond with her father, Legato, and Legato was trying to teach Amy the way of the evil psycho, a combination which wasn't working out too well. Clone, herself, was having a hard time getting used to her two consciences in one body even when she sat by her father's side, she felt as if he were just using her.

Vash decided to revert to his old self now that Wolfwood was around and Milly was happier with the priest by her side. Didrean loved Vash now that he had a hankering for mischief. Only Meryl didn't seem too fond of this new family, mainly because she had to clean up after everyone...

But Clone couldn't help but feel an uncertainty about something, like everything was going to change...

((Seeds Ship 500 Miles From The Town))

A chilled chamber sat tranquilly in the bowls of the fallen ship. The door opened and chilled smoke cascaded from its insides as figure made its way out of the chamber. Her aqua eyes peered around the room, memories flooding her blank mind. The serene eyes hardened with anger and eerie smile spread across her face.

"Knives..." she whispered, walking out of the room.

((((End Year One))))

C-E: WOO! The end of one year in a freakin' long chapter. It's my present for being so late in updating. I'll get up another Ham hams destroy after this and then an Elimi-date. But first, I like to say sorry about the hiatus. My comp. was on the blinx and I just got out of summer "camp" but we're all cool now, right? Anyway, stay loyal and I'll put up the new year of Clone!


	11. Year 2: A Special For All You Readers

Disclaimer: I'm sleep deprived. The only thing I own right now is the eye buggers I have...Point, I don't own Trigun. Now, sleepy sleepy.

C-E: Yawn It's 5 in the morning cause my cat thought it'd be funny to wake up her mistress who only got two hours of sleep. But that's ok, I heard people work just fine with small amounts of sleep...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxdgj Sorry. Nodded off. Don't blame me if WNF seems a little lost right now, I'm in conflict about which plot path I should take... So, I'm going to write the next year of Clone while I figure out WNF. Enjoy!

**Clone YEAR 2**

** Chapter Twelve:  
The Winds Of Change... Smell Weird **

Special Year End... Speeeeecial

((At The "House"))

Yet, another uneventful day at the "House" as it has been deemed in the small human settlement; and by uneventful, I mean that the place was alit with screaming, screaming and other assorted mayhem. Vash could be seen running outside with a certain smoking priest in tow towards a currently temperamental motorcycle that just _didn't_ feel like starting up, right then.

Cue the angry, short and ex-insurance wife welding knives. "VASH! GET IN HERE AND FIX YOUR MESS!"

Vash gave up and tried to talk his wife down. "Meryl, it's a simple mistake!" he said, holding up his hands for protection. Wolfwood lit a cig and chuckled.

"Yeah, who would've guessed that puttin' cigs in donut dough would make it explode in the oven!"

"Wolfwood! Need I remind that this is partly your fault! And, YOU'RE NOT HELPING ME!" Vash screamed, taking his eyes off Meryl for a few seconds... Which isn't really a good idea, right now. THWACK! "AHHHHH! MERYL YOU STABBED ME IN THE ARM!"

Splik. "Yeah, so? It'll heal anyway. Stop being a baby about it and go clean my kitchen!" she yelled at the whimpering Vash and suddenly very obedient Wolfwood, "Honestly! You we're never like this before, Vash! I think Wolfwood's a _bad_ influence on you. Hey! Don't get blood on the kitchen ware!"

And Clone was outside, teaching children the virtues of human kind. "Humans suck. Destroy them all. Their only use is punching bags, dog food, and fertilizer. Go home and chop your parents up," she finished, waving them away. That was the time when little Didrean stepped in and wiped their minds clear... Welp, that's been goin' on for a few hours now. Let's go see what Knives is doing!

The genocidal Plant being (in all his omnipotence) was still konked out, but Legato and Amy (his daughter and fellow psychooo- psychic) sat at the table in his room, playing poker. Hmmm, psychics playing poker... I think I'll let that one sink in... RIGHT!

((Knives' Dream))

Now, I've never been in a _coma_ coma, but I'll wing this one. Our (mine! MINE!) princely plant enjoyed a well earned dream of world conquest. With no Vash. No Wolfwood. And especially NO CLONE! Ahhh, bliss...

((Back To Reality))

"Full house," Legato droned, making Amy slap her hand on the table top.

"Darnit dad! That's the tenth time you've won!"

Yup, an uneventful day...

((Five Days Walk From The "House"))

An old man sat out on his porch talking to his extremely bored grandson. "And we didn't just _ride_ thomases! Nosirre! We ate em, too!"

"Grandpa, we do that now," the boy perked up, "Hey, what's that?"

The old man squinted at an almost formless speck on the horizon, "Looks like a traveler."

"All the way out here! We need to them, grandpa!" the boy said, running out to the figure with his grandfather in tow. They soon reached the figure, a young, dazed woman wearing nothing but the weathered cloak on her back. Her wavy, long, blonde hair matted into an intangible mass. She took two steps when the old man and child reached and fell to the ground, unconscious.

((Back At The "House"))

Vash sneezed. He didn't know why he sneezed; in fact, he thought it was pretty stupid wondering why he sneezed on a desert planet. So, he went back to disinfecting his stab wound. Wolfwood shared his room 'cause Meryl was mad at him for bringing everyone into her house. The priest flinched and shivered as Vash finished and bandaged the wound. "Damn, how can you take that from your wife?"

Vash sighed, "You're married to Milly, dude. You have no idea what I go through every day."

SLAM! Clone skipped into the previously locked room, grabbed some fireworks from Vash's still broken dresser and skipped back outside with no words. The two men looked at each with a we-should-be-worried-and-check- that-out-but-I'm-too-lazy/hurting-to-care-right-now glance. So, they shrugged and starting dancing... Sorry, sorry! My bad, not thinking straight. And continued their riveting conversation.

((Outside))

A giant muck monster now rampaged through the human settlement. Don't ask how it got there 'cause I'm not answering. Anyway, apparently only Clone seemed to notice the threat on the town's life, which meant? Yep, you guessed it! The town was screwed. Alas, our chirpy friend skipped over to the monster with a M-9432009542578342.56 firecracker and... placed it by the sheriff's office, lighting it, and running the **hell** away. Needless to say, the muck monster was destroyed. Along with the entire city populace excluding the "house."

Gotta love that wholesome family fun. Clone laughed maniacally and walked back home. She sat at the kitchen table and made mass mayhem in the kitchen without lifting a finger, writing "Vash was here" in the wall with produce from the destroyed refrigerator.

((Back With The Old Man))

The young boy leaned over her figure. They found small lacerations all over her body from prolonged exposure to sandstorms. His grandfather said she traveled farther than any human would be able to without food or water. "Lost love or family member is my guess."

The boy couldn't get over her beauty from the time they cleaned her up. Even though, she'd been through the unbelievable, her face still looked like an angel's with a small beauty mark by her left eye. They managed to clean the sand from her hair and now it fell in locks of curling gold. He never noticed her open eyes until she smiled at him and sat up, holding the sheets to her front. Her aqua eyes scanned the room, "Where am I?"

"Grandpa and I found you outside our house. You're about two miles outside where July used to be," the boy spurted, oblivious to the woman's suddenly stern face, "What's your name, miss?"

She jumped, "I-I don't really know. I remember something with a v..."

The old man walked in with clothing under his arm and ordered the boy out. He walked to the woman and handed her the clothes, turning around to let her dress. "You're pretty lucky, traveler. Remind me of someone I knew a long, long time ago. So, where are you from?"

"A plant ship a week's walk away from here."

The old man's bushy, white eyebrows arched in interest, "Plant ship? I understand you can't remember your name..."

She finished dressing and walked over to sit by the old man, "It's not that I can't remember it, it just. I don't think it's the right name," she said as she took the coffee the old man offered, "I have these fragmented visions. Names that have faces but no true meaning to me. I just _feel_ like I should find them..."

The old man smiled, "The more I talk to you, the more you remind me of an old friend. I believe his name was Vash," the old man nodded. "Vash the Stampede."

She jumped up, slamming her hands into the table, "Vash! I think-but I'm not sure. I may be related to him! I have to find him!" she said, running out the door. She stopped halfway out with a soft wind lifting her glowing hair into a dance, "I'm sorry, old man. But I have to leave. May I, at least ask your name?"

The old man smiled as he held back the boy, "Kite."

She nodded and ran into the horizon...

((Back At The "House"))

"DAMMIT, WOLFWOOD! HURRY AND START THIS THING!" Vash screamed as Meryl charged after them again welding the same knives from before as the priest frantically tried to bring the motorcycle's picky engine to life.

Clone sat on the roof watching all this with a glass of water. She sipped the liquid and sighed as Meryl stabbed Vash again. "Mmmm. The sun tastes pretty good today!"

((((END))))

C-E: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's a freakin' master piece! W00T!


	12. Year 2: It's Not The End Until

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or anything else that might seem like I might own it.

C-E: Been away for a while. But now I'm back! (crowd: NOOOO!) I'll open my new season with the next Clone, promised to be the best yet. Stay tuned to _this_ story! It's got aspirations!

**Cline ...($!&) Clone Season 2**

**Chapter Thirteen:  
It's Not The End Until...**

((((Beginning))))

((At the "house"))

Clone twiddled her thumbs in her father's room. Ever since Vash was stabbed twice and she broke the lock on his door, Clone had been force to live by her father's side as Legato and Amy took the room next to the sleeping plant. She wasn't _too_ mad at this... buuuut, the house did have a billion rooms. Plus, Knives kept mumbling under his breath about conquering the humans and killing Clone, but mostly just killing Clone.

Well, Clone was punished for making Meryl stab Vash again for her wrong-doings and was, shall we say, grounded. So, Clone leaned her head against the table's leg and stared out the window at the setting sun as she sat on the hard wooden floor. The light crimson rays playing off the crème curtains and cascading down to dance by her booted feet; the clouds drifting with lazy wings across the sun and hurrying to a destination unknown.

Clone's eyes slowly drifted to a lazy sleep, alongside her father's bed. For right now, Clone was happy to stay in the room with her father, watching his chest push the blankets up and let them fall in his soft breathes... Yes, this was bliss.

((Ten Iles away...))

(A/N: isn't it funny how foreshadow works?) The weathered cloak lifted in the twilight wind, weary from the travel and protection it had given its master. From beneath the twisting folds two aqua eyes peered at the city below, or what was left. A crater, the size of the July crater, heaved the land into its concave shape leaving no trace of human life except for the single house on its outer ridge.

The soft eyes narrowed and the bare foot took a step down the dune it rested on...

((With Clone))

"WAHHHH!" THUD! Clone sat up, suddenly.

WHACK! "AH! Stupid table," she whispered as she ran to the window. Something was moving in the settling night. She could barely make out a shape at the bottom of a sand dune ten iles away, getting up and dusting itself off. Clone narrowed her eyes.

"How _dare_ a human be out here without my permission!" shick. Thud. She opened the window and landed somewhat gracefully on the ground below, running towards the figure. She had no weapon, but she did have telekinesis...

She crouched behind a rock and waited for her pray...which had disappeared... Clone poked her head up and looked around, "Oi. Where did theeee-" she trailed looking down the barrel of a silver .45 Colt. Her cold blue eyes looked beyond the immediate danger to the person who was about to become a smear of blood on the dune's surface...

"no. It can't be..." she said, staring into the aqua eyes of her worse nemesis crested by the golden locks of a plant...

((With Vash))

He sat up in his single bed in a cold sweat, memories of his past flashing by his eyes. His scarred feet rested on the floor as he cupped his head in an effort to gain his breath. Wolfwood still slept as soundly as ever in the opposite bed when he walked into the bathroom. His body shivered as the sweat began to dry. Why so much fear over something so long ago? Rem was dead, he thought as he turned on the shower, and he now lived with a happy family. Why was he still waking up in a cold sweat?

The water hit his body, pooling in niches carved into his skin long ago. There was something odd about these memories, as if he looked through another's eyes or at a mirror. A mirror... mirror. His eyes narrowed in concentration. "mirror..."

CRASH! klang-klang. Vash threw the shower curtains open and looked stared at the bathroom door, wide-eyed. His face turned to anger as a thought passed through his mind, of which he yelled. "CLOOOOOOONE!"

((With Clone))

"Hmm. I guess guns _are_ useless against my power," she cackled as the person struggled to stand against the stove they slammed into. Clone floated through the hole the person made and landed, "Get up, _knave!_" Clone yelled lifting a hand and the person along with it.

CLAAAAAANG! Thud. A frying pan to the head knocks Clone to ground and the person following. Vash stood half-naked aside from the sweat pants he wore, wielding his mighty weapon. His trained eyes surveyed the damage and searched for survivors of which he found only one.

She stared up at him, still sitting helplessly on the ground. Her cloak had fallen off when she was lifted off the ground and Vash could see her innocent blue-green eyes and wavy blonde tresses spreading across the floor. He gasped and dropped the frying pan, taking two terrified steps backwards. "You! You look just like me!"

The woman stood up and looked him in the eyes, "I do? I haven't seen myself, so I wouldn't know."

Vash glanced up into the adjacent living room and up the stairs, thinking of Meryl. "Ermm, maybe you should come with me and bring Clone too, yeah the one I hit. It'd be best if I kept you away from Meryl," he said, taking Clone's limp body from the woman and creeping up the stairs and into his room. Clone's body was thrown in the bathroom and locked; the woman took a seat on Vash's bed as Vash woke Wolfwood.

The tall plant shook Wolfwood and was smacked in the face. Vash held his bleeding nose as the priest sat up and glanced at the clock next to his bed. "Spiky, you moron! Why tha' HELL are you wakin' me up at 3 in tha' mornin'!"

Vash sniffed and pointed to his bed where the woman still sat. A silence fell in the room like an anvil. Then, the priest started chuckling, "Oooo! Spiky! Meryl's goin' be so freakin' mad at you! You may survive two stabs wounds but this time I predict around forty!"

Vash waved his hands in the air, "No no, Wolfwood! It's not what you think! I would never do anything like _that_! I just found her getting beat up by Clone!" he hissed and dropped to his knees, "You **have to **help me! Please!"

Once again, the priest chuckled. "What are you gonna do for me?"

Vash's head hung low, "whatever you want..."

Wolfwood smirked and stood up, walking over to the girl. "Where are you from?"

"A plant ship five iles from a town.."

"What town?"

"I can't remember. Something like Mei.."

Wolfwood notice Vash twitch behind him, "Do you have any parents?" he continued.

The woman shook her head, "Not that I know of.."

The priest saw Vash's widening eyes from the corner of his own. "Can you remember anything at all?"

The woman looked down at the floor, squinting. "I remember...I think I have a brother. And-and a person named Rem... But that's all. The rest is fragmented. I don't even know my name..."

Wolfwood saw Vash crouch down with his hands on his head. The priest spun around and whacked Vash upside the head. The gunman sprawled on the floor nursing his wound. "What is your problem, Spikey! Jeez! It's like your bein' smacked with a whip or somethin'!"

Vash jumped up and dragged the priest outside the bedroom, leaving the woman on the bed. He closed the door and hissed at Wolfwood, "I think she's my clone."

"WHAT?" the priest screamed as Vash tried to shush him. Wolfwood calmed down and growled at Vash. "What is your **problem! **God! First Clone and now this! Can't you people leave one of you alone?"

Vash's head sank low, "It's not my fault.. Well, maybe it is. I was drunk at the time and-"

"DRUNK! God! Now, I know why Meryl makes you stay sober!"

"_I was drunk at the time_... and I can't remember what I did. I think a plant talked me into it. BUT! She is my semi-daughter and thus my responsibility,"

Wolfwood smirked and opened the door, "Alright, I guess you won't need me then!"

Vash grabbed his arm and pleaded, "NO! I need you Wolfwood, my pal. Just keep my clone busy until I'm ready to tell Meryl. _PLEASE, Wolfwood_"

The priest stared at Vash's pitiful gaze and sighed, yanking his arm away. "Alright. But, you owe me _twice!_"

((Inside the bedroom))

She sat on the bed completely clueless of what was happening around her. Small flashes of memories flitted in her mind. The cold smile of a light-haired child smiling down at her; the tall dark-haired woman singing a soft melody; and, the crumpled buildings under the reddened sky.

THUD! She jumped and looked at the bathroom. She remembered Vash putting that other woman in there. The woman from her memories. The one who destroyed all those innocent lives.

She stood up and walked to the door. THUD! THUD! Klang-klang. She reached for the doorknob...THUD! THUD! ...

BAM! "AHHHH!" she jumped back as a foot pierced the wooden door and pulled back followed by screams and moans of pain. Her aqua eyes peered through the hole.

Clone lay huddled on the bathroom floor, toilet pulled from its floor, nursing her foot that had destroyed the door. She saw the woman looking at her and glared. The woman reached into the hole and unlocked the door, crawling inside and sitting in front of Clone, glaring back. For a few moments both women sat on the floor glaring at each other; until, Clone jumped up and ran out the door, cackling and slamming it shut behind her.

"MUWAHAHA! Foolish human! How dare you challenge me!" Creeeeak. The woman stared at Clone through the open door. "Er.. QUIET YOU! You dare mock me! Death!" WHACK!

Vash smacked Clone across the head with Wolfwood's cigarette tray, "Don't you EVER stay unconscious?" he yelled, turning to the woman and scratching his head. "Er. Sorry about that. She's.. not normal."

((The Following Morning))

STAB! "AHHH! Meryl! You stabbed me again!" the gunman said, clutching his bleeding shoulder, in a crowded dinning room as countless eyes stared in amusement.

Meryl wiped the knife clean and put it in the sink as if she had just cut butter with it. "Well, you can't say you don't deserve it. Just now you tell me, after all the years of _loyalty_ I have given to you that you had a daughter all along. No Vash. I'm not mad at you..."

"Phew!" Vash interrupted, "Man am I glad! I thought you'd be-"

STAB! STAB! STAB! "I'LL KILL YOU!" Meryl screamed in a fit of rage and launched herself at Vash, stabbing wildly. Milly and Wolfwood picked the mad woman off the beaten man as Clone cackled and Vash's clone-daughter helped him up. The short ex-insurance lady walked out of the room followed by her best friend to let off some _steam_.

Vash sat at the table, bleeding on his breakfast. The psychics left to watch over Knives after their little chuckle and Didrean went to school early... on a Saturday. Wolfwood leaned back in the chair as the woman cleaned Vash's wounds and Clone stared at the blood soaked eggs. He lit a cigarette and chuckled, "Well, looks like she took that just fine,"

Vash grunted. The priest smiled at the woman cleaning the gunman's wounds, "You'll need a name if you're gonna stay.."

She looked at him and blushed, "No, I don't want to be a burden."

Clone snickered.

But Wolfwood insisted, "No, I think you'll be fine here. It's not like you don't have anywhere else to go, right? And, knowing Meryl and Milly, they'll eventually let you stay. But, we can't jus' call you 'Hey you!' all the time, can we?"

She smiled at him without saying a word and finished bandaging Vash. Clone chuckled and lifted the bloody eggs off the table without her hands. "You're name will be Vashina," she muttered dropping the plate on the floor with a resounding CRASH!

BANG! Slpak! "AHHHH! SHE SHOT ME! Did you just see that!" Clone yelled as everyone ran inside to find a writhing Clone, a wide-eyed Vash, a laughing Wolfwood, and Vashina clutching Vash's old gun in a white-knuckled fist. Meryl sighed and picked up the pieces of plate as Milly shushed Clone and bandaged her wound. Amy avidly talked with Vashina as Vash tried to interrupt them and scold his clone, but for some reason he couldn't. Legato stared at the scene and went back to his room a few minutes later.

Finally, Amy backed away and Vash got to Vashina taking away the gun. "If you're going to live in this house, you can **not** randomly shot people! I'm taking this gun and putting in somewhere you won't ever find it again. Now, go apologize to Clone!" he finished, pointing to the slouched Clone sitting on the couch outside the kitchen. Vashina sighed and walked into the living room with her head hung low.

Wolfwood stopped laughing and picked himself off the floor with the aid of Vash's wounded shoulder. "AHHHH! CRAP! Wolfwood, what was that for!"

The priest wiped a tear from his eye and turned to Vash, "'Go apologize to Clone!'", he said mocking Vash's voice. He nudged Vash in the side a few times and looked at the pair in the living room, "Four words I'd never thought I'd hear in a row!"

((In the Living Room))

Vashina stared at Clone. Clone stared at Vashina. It was an understood apology. But, Vash was staring at Vashina and she _had_ to say something. "I-mmm... sorry."

Clone suddenly found the spacesuit very interesting. "...I'll kill you for this, you know that right."

Vashina stomped her foot and yelled at Vash, "Did you hear that? She said, she was going to kill me!"

Vash sighed and started up the stairs, signaling Vashina to follow, "That's a good an apology you'll get out off her. Come on, I'll show you your room."

((In Knives' Room))

For two long months, his blissful dreams had come to an end as he slowly lifted himself out of his fantasies and opened his eyes to the blinding sun of reality. His squinted eyes surveyed the room as best they could. From what he could tell, it was empty; but not only that, he tested his limbs as well, all functioning properly. A cold smile broke from his lips as he climbed out of bed and walked to the window.

He was on the second floor, not too far a way. Surely, he could make it. Shick. Thud. He landed with a practiced grace and ran toward the horizon. Nothing like freedom to start your new plans for _destruction of the human race._

((((END))))

C-E: Once again, I apologize for the horrible lack of updating. Stick with me people, school work, lack of internet, and band, have me bogged down. There shouldn't be as many spelling errors this time, I proof-read the first part and caught quite a few. Thanks to those who pointed it out! Stay tuned for the next ham-hams! or Clone, depending on what I feel like writing. I'll try to shell out the next chapter soon! Thanks for reading!


	13. When Things Fall Apart

Disclaimer: I've never owned Trigun but I would like it for my birthday…

C-E: Yes, the next chapter of Clone is finally up. Once again, I apologize for my lack of updating and all that other stuff. That is if anyone besides that one person of whom shall go nameless, reads this anymore.. If not, then I'd like to say one thing………. BUTTSEX! Ha! I win.

**Clone Season 2**

**Chapter 14:  
When Things Fall Apart…**

((((Start))))

((At the "House"))

Clone stared at the empty room that oh-so-recently housed her beloved father. Meryl stood behind the tall plant-clone as Clone felt her eyes well up with tears. She took two steps into the room and fell to her knees cupping her gloved hands around her face to hide her tears.

Meryl walked to Clone's hunched back and laid a hand on her quivering shoulder, "Clone…" she whispered.

Clone stood up and brushed Meryl's hand from her shoulder, "FOOL! I'm not crying for remorse of my Father leaving me! I'm **overwhelmed** with happiness that Father has left me his room in his journey to eradicate the human race from our perfect world! MWUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! **NOW!** LEAVE ME IN PEACE WITH MY NEW ROOM!" she yelled with her arms crossed and her eyes glaring at the suddenly dark and twitching Meryl.

((10 Minutes Later…))

"Cool! I get this _totally_ awesome room!" Vashina said, beaming at Knives' old room while Vash stood behind her with a similar beam of happiness. He walked up to Vashina as she opened the window and looked at the barren view and waved down at Legato.

"I know what you mean! I thought Meryl was going to give it to Clone. But she just walked into the kitchen and started ranting something about Clone sleeping in the hall closet. So, I thought, 'Hey! Why not give it to my semi-daughter, Vashina!'"

Vashina spun around hugged Vash just as Wolfwood walked by, completely unaware of the family bonding. Instead, the priest walked down the hall to where a calamity had welled up, and wherever there was calamity there was bound to be a reason for him to smoke. He stopped behind Milly and looked over her shoulder and chuckled.

"I am **NOT** sleeping in a closet!" Clone yelled to the shorter and grumpier Meryl. The raven-haired women stepped up to Clone and shoved a delicate finger in her face.

"_You **will** and you'll **like** it,_" she growled with narrowed eyes. Clone glared back thinking this through.

Wolfwood growled, walked around Milly, shoved Clone into the closet, and threw the door shut. He then pulled a gun from his jacket and shot the lock, replaced the gun with a cigarette and started down the hall, "Oh no. The lock broke. Whatever shall we do?" he droned as he lit the bent cig.

Milly ran after him as the priest walked outside. "Nick, that's was a very mean thing to do to Ms. Clone!"

Wolfwood shrugged and hooked Milly around her waist with his arm. "Since when did you start callin' me Nick?" he asked with a playful grin that made Milly blush as she glanced at Legato opposite them, staring into the horizon.

"Well, I thought that we knew each other long enough so…." her voice faded into the distance as he focused on the dark line of the afternoon horizon. He searched for Knives' voice. Something to tell him his master needed him. **_ANY_** reason to get away from this house.

He sighed as his mind wondered to the fly that just appeared. He waved it away and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and searching for his stash of food. Apparently, Tuesday's were **not **his day. He growled and stood up walking to the cabinets and looking for his reserve secret stash of food.

SLAM! If you saw Legato's face at that time, you would have never thought he was angry. Well, unless you saw him slam the cabinet door and cuss under his breath. He glared at kitchen doorway. Didrean and Amy (Legetta) sat on the couch whispering to each other. Legato growled. Without his food, he couldn't read minds efficiently and he was getting headache. Time for sleepy.

He trudged up the stairs, not noticing the girls fall silent as he walked by, and practically crawled to his room, close the door and fall on the bed. "Myaaan" He opened his eyes to see a black cat swishing its tail and staring at him with those creepy yellow eyes. He jumped off the bed, grabbed the cat by its scruff, and threw it down the hall. It scampered down the stairs and landed on Didrean's lap.

Didrean pet the shivering mound of fur as she bit her lip, looking up the stairs towards the grumbled slam of Legato's door. "Are you _sure_ about this?" she asked the nodding Amy.

"Of course! Father's really let himself go lately. A little diet won't hurt him."

"Did you ever think it's not **him** I'm worried about? He'll get edgy. What if he tries to take his rage out on someone else, namely **US**? Besides, the man's skinner than … well… He's REALLY SKINNY!"

Amy waved her hand and made the cat jump off Didrean's lap and walk outside, "Oh yeah, he's almost 300 pounds! That coat is really slimming."

Didrean stares at Amy with her mouth hanging open. The cat leaves the room in a awkward silence and a sigh to head up the stairs. She stops to watch Vash step out of Vashina's new room with tears of fatherly joy. He bends down, ruffles her fur, and starts back down the hall towards his own room, passing by Clone's "room."

Cheegecheega… Cheegacheegacheegacheega. Vash stares at the doorknob…. Cheegacheega bang bang cheegacheega ahhhhh…(A/N: you have no IDEA how easy it is to get that stuck in your head.) He wriggles the knob and pokes the melted lock.

"Hm. Have to get that fixed soon," he mutters, continuing down the hall as the cat sits still watching Clone's door with rapt attention. Inside, Clone gives up with jiggling the doorknob and decides to burrow herself out. Unfortunately, she realizes, just in the nick of time, that her room is on the second floor. So, she turns her pleads to the one place she knows they will be heard.

The ceiling.

And lo and behold! Clone spies the air duct opening. Outside, the sun paints the walls a bloody red as our feline friend lays in front of the door with a yawn and a muffled cackle and resounding clatter spew from the door. The cat leers at the door and waltzes into Vashina's room decorated with donuts, nailed to the wall and a circular bed, indented in the middle. The walls were recently painted red and her closet is barren, aside from the paper on the floor and the glossy shimmer of the last coat.

Vashina sat on her bed, dropping the paintbrush in the empty pail and wiping her brow with her hand, leaving a red streak beneath her wavy bangs. The cat meows as she jumps onto the bed. Vashina smiles, pets her, and tosses her outside. "Sorry kitty, but I just painted and, although its quick dry, I don't want you messing it up."

She closes the door and touches the paint by its frame. She smiles when nothing rubs off and walks to her closet. Vash's clone wore fresh clothes borrowed from Milly as Meryl insisted her old clothes be washed. Knock, knock.

Vashina looks to the window, "It's _that_ late already?" she mutters crossing to the door and cracking it open. A man stood in the opening; his face covered by a dark scarf and high collar of a black trench coat.

"_The crow pecks at the ground,_" he whispers.

Vashina whispers back, "_He searches for the crumbs._"

"_But can't seem to find them,_" he continues, peering over his shoulder.

Vashina growls and grabs him by the collar, throwing the door open. "**Just give me the freakin' god, _Vash!_**"

Vash whimpers and hands Vashina a round object carefully wrapped in a kleenex. Vashina giggles, taking it from Vash's hand and throwing her father to the floor, slamming the door behind her and cuddling the napkin. She peels back it's layers and reveals a perfectly glazed donut with evenly distributed sprinkles lining it's soft and gossamer dough. She walks to her closet, touches the red paint to test for dryness, and sets the donut upon a satin cushion surrounded by many pictures of its likeness. She falls to her knees with teary eyes…

"It's so beautiful……." she sighs and carefully closes the closet door before going to bed.

((Later That Night))

That night the entire house slept in suspiously quiet bliss. Unbeknownst to them, evil lurked silently in the air ducts... Well, actually evil was just stuck because she got a cramp in her leg and couldn't move until the heater kickedon and the metal expanded. (A/N: HA! LEARN, DARN YOU! LEARN!)

Crunk. swifswifswif. "Ha! Stupid air duct, try and keep me from terrorizing the short-spider. I laugh at you! Mwuahah-" Clone stopped and looked around her cramped confines. Sure enough, she was lost; but luckily, a vent was conviently beneath her feet. She smirked and peered through the metal slits...

Cackle. Right above Vashina's room... Suddenly, her brain started twitching. At first, it hurt her until an amazing thing happened... She had an idea...

And with a lighter in her hand and a rope anchored to the air duct and her waist, Clone lowered herself above Vashina's bed like a spider closing in on it's unfortunate prey...

Chk. Chk. "Stupid lighter." Chkchkchkchkchkchkchk. Chk. fwoosh. "Mwuaahaha.." She dropped the lighter and reeled herself up while the flames shot from Vashina's sleeping form..

((That Morning...))

It was a blissful dream of KILLING CLONE and saving all mankind from evil and Knives that she woke up from ... Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow, ect.

Clap, clik. Her bloodshot eyes opened and she stared at the alarm clock dad _absolutely_ demanded she have. The damn thing looked like a black cat squatting with one paw on the clock and another holding a donut. When the alarm went off, it's head would tilt and the donut would go to it's mouth... The first time was cute, but everthing after that...

"Grrr." she flipped her legs out of the indented bed and pulled herself out, stumbling to the bathroom.

Kish...wsh,wsh,wsh. K-shk. "Ah, nothing like a nice wash on the face..." She looked up and saw the black, bristling tendrils that used to be hair...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

((((End))))

C-E: Alright, I'm shelling out this chapter of Clone to inform my loyal readers of some difficulties and whatnot that my life loves to crap out for me. First, my computer is stupid. But that's a good thing because I can't do crap on it but write and get on the internet. Yay! More updating! Second, Family will be on hold until I can remember what I wrote at school, since school let out and I forgot to get my stories off the network there. Third, I'VE BEEN IN HAWAII! Everyone praise and then hunt me down for rubbing it in your faces. So, more chapters, hold on Family and kill me for hubris. Check.


	14. The Little Red Book

Disclaimer: Really quick. Not own Trigun.

C-E: Ha! I'm back! I know, I know.. Why aren't you doing the other chapters you asshole! Well, because I don't know. I'm thinking about doing another anime... Hm. Maybe... But Here's the next chapter of Clone... This IS Clone, right?

**Clone**

**Chapter Fifteen:**

**The Little Red Book**

((((Start))))

It wasn't the way Legato wanted to be woken up that morning. You see, our favorite psychopath was sleeping right beneath Vashina's room, so he could hear her annoying clock, her scream, and her stomping down the stairs in search of Clone.. No, this wasn't the way a maniac should be awakened...

He sighed and got dressed. He wanted to assert himself so this wouldn't happen again... Walking outside, he whistled as Vashina was ushered back into her room by her sympathetic father…

((In Vashina's Room))

She sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her closet with the rhythmic curls of smoke wafting gracefully to the ceiling above her "god," a perfectly frosted donut. Her eyes were closed and her mind soon relieved itself of any thoughts regarding hatred. Yes, only the devotion of her god could clear her mind of the frailties that the humans have infected her mind with...

Her eyes shot open... Ok, that was weird... Did she just think humans were worthless...?

Meow Meow Meow...

She shifted to glare over her shoulder. That damn clock...

Tmp tmp. She walked over to the accursed clock, with it's cute meow and donut. She picked it up...

CRASH! Thud.

"Thud?" She crouched beneath the window and peered over the pane. Two golden eyes glared up at her while a gloved hand rubbed gingerly his blue hair with the clock laying, mockingly, on the desert beside him. Vashina stared wide eyed as a shiver fell down her spine and her breath slowly left her body as if running away before she died...

She slowly backed away and crawled to the door. Creaaak. Her head poked out, quickly taking in her surroundings. Alas! Her father stood down the hall with a tool belt attached to his waist as he crashed around with Clone's bedroom's broken door. She sneaked her way over to him, staying close to the floor as if she were in war, constantly looking over her shoulder and down the stairs.

When she finally reached him, she timidly tugged on his pant leg, laying on her stomach with head cocked towards the stairs. Vash looked down at his "daughter" and raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong, Vashina?"

Vashina shook her head (quite a feat considering she never took her eyes off the stairs) and asked her father, "Um, dad? You fought Legato, right? Is he... you know, obsessive over killing and/or getting revenge?"

Vash let out boisterous chuckle and sat down next to his daughter, "OH MAN! Are you kidding me? I couldn't go **five** **minutes** without some one dieing around me! Man, he was brutal! Filled my dreams with pictures of burning kittens and reruns of DBZ! It was horrible! You won't _believe_ how happy I was to finally killed him! But, now that's he back, I sometimes get a little antsy... I think he's doesn't remember me putting a bullet through his head..." he finished, rubbing his chin with his workman's-gloved hands, "Why do you ask dear?" he asked, looking down at the now deathly pale Vashina...

Vashina mumble something about praying to her god some more and slithered back to her room. Sounds akin to furniture being pushed up against her door could be heard as Vash stared for a long time at Knives' old room. He shrugged and stood up, turning back to his assignment.

Repairing Clone's door.

WHAM!

Legato walked up the stairs, intent on shoving the cat clock he had in Vash's hand into places not to be mentioned on this rated story, when his eyes befell an amusing scene. Vash stood in the middle of the hall with door leaning upon his forehead and drops of blood dripping from said forehead to the floor. The gunman was shivering with rage considering that Clone thought she would put a nail in her door in case she would ever wanted to put a name board on it, which was now lodge in his head.

Let's take a moment to feel sorry for Vash...

Okay moment over. Legato raised an eyebrow when many of us would have giggled and walked on to Vashina's room. He spread his mind to reach the corners of her room and found the clone huddle against in a corner surrounded by a fortress of cushions with a single hole that she could peek out of. He stared at the door, knowing full well that it was blocked with furniture on the other side.

Our psychic friend peered over at Vash as he sighed his rage away and gently put the door back on it's hinges. The blue-haired man grabbed Vashina's doorknob and pulled the door towards him... He chuckled, "You foolish girl... You forgot the door's swing _out_ in this house; moreover; you didn't lock it..." he droned pushing the barricade out of his way as he advance on the whimpering cushion fort...

((In the Air Vents))

Clone wiped her forehead with her sleeve and stood with utmost glee, staring at her accomplishment... Yes, it was amazing what she could do with her ability to bend the laws of time and space, that even she did not know she had.

She walked down the hallway that used to be called "air conditioning" now renovated with plush apple red carpeting running the stretch of wall, covered with a creamy white wallpaper that met the paintings of Knives with such finesse that it seemed his sparkling eyes followed you as the reduced, lowered lighting spread soft shadow upon the floor.

Clone leaned back in a plush chair situated at intervals along the hall as she looked up at the picture of her adored father figure… Yes, he was a fascinating man. Someone Clone knew made the perfect model for genocide…

Yet, there was a tiny spark within her that said she could do better. A small voice crying out, "Stand up! Succeed where that fool has failed! Ignore this failure and become his ruler and that of mankind's master!"

There was no doubt… Clone had indigestion… Or at least that's what she thought. It was a human fallacy but seeing as she _has_ been living with them, there was no doubt in her mind that she _somehow_ caught this sickness…

…Yes, Clone had much to learn about human health….

She sighed and stood up. "Maybe I should go ask the female-spiders about this infliction…" she said to herself.

((Back Downstairs Also Known As The Kitchen))

Meryl was happy. Or at least, as happy as she could be considering there were screams coming from upstairs and cussing from Vash prior to a loud thud. Our two favorite ladies were busy making breakfast. Milly prattled on about how awesome "Mr. Priest" was as Meryl sighed repeatedly and flipped pancakes…

Yes, Meryl was happy. Until Clone suddenly appeared beside her and poked inquisitively at the doughy goodness. Meryl stopped flipping and turned two piercing glares at Clone who simply smiled them back. She grabbed Meryl's arm and walked outside, leaving Milly to talk to herself unaware that no one listened.

Meryl sighed and took off her apron laying it on the back of a rocking chair they placed on the porch. She slid down into it and stared at their plush garden, the fruit of many years. Clone hopped up on the railing in front of Meryl, obstructing her view, and looked her in the eyes.

"Short female-spider, you seem to be the most knowledgeable about spider health. Tell me, what is the affliction when you have pains in the stomach area and voices telling you bad things?"

Meryl stared at her for a moment with a look of total confusion and amusement on her face. After a while, her mind clicked and she was able to answer the question. "Well, it can be many things… Can you tell me more about it?" Meryl asked, hoping this day would only come when Didrean grew up.

"Hmm," Clone muttered jumping down and pacing before Meryl, "I suppose I've been feeling tired and angry quite a lot… I get hot often and it feels like I've been depressed lately…"

Meryl sighed. Crap, this is going to be awkward. She stood up and lead Clone to her previous seat. The ex-insurance lady stood straight and took a deep breath. "Alright Clone. You're a Plant. But sometimes, a Plant has physical problems like a human does. What you're going through now is something we call …" she paused letting her face fall.

Wait, what would they call this…

Meryl shook her head, noticing she was talking to Clone. "You know what? Screw it! Vash and I got a book on this so we could learn how to explain it. It's in my room. Go get and read it. I don't need this right now. I have breakfast to make," she muttered grabbing her apron and walking back into the kitchen, where Milly prattled on.

Clone sat rocking back in forth in deep meditation, thinking of the deep psychological processes that she never really understood of the human nature, the way they can understand so much about themselves and still not be able fix the greater problems…

Or maybe she just enjoying the sound the rocker made when it moved.

No one can really tell. Either way, she eventually got up and circled the house to enter through the front, simply to avoid the nauseating smells of human pre-waste. She found her way up stairs, noticed her bedroom's door was fixed (and promptly wrecked it again) and walked into Meryl's room. She found a bookshelf with many interesting titles, "How to Train Your Husband," "The Pit and the Pendulum," and more recently, "277 Ways to Commit Massive Genocide When Your House Is Filled With Moochers And Get Away With It…"

But, finally, our hero found her book, "The Secret of Babes." Well, she found the book next to it. She flipped through the pages and nodded. Yes, this was the one. Time to learn how to defeat the humans from within!

Ah, foolish short spider. She gave Clone her _perfect_ weapon. Yes, Father would be proud when she brought back all the spiders with their rotting corpses and heads stuck to pikes… Very proud.

But first! Clone looked at Meryl's bed…

"Why don't _I_ get a bed?"

((At Breakfast…))

The table was full with energy! Everyone was talking, about what? One could only guess. Legato was as happy as he could be just getting to eat as Didrean and Amy giggled covertly to themselves while he shoveled waffles into his mouth. Vash was glad he finally got that "damn, anti-Semitic, Satanist door" repaired. Wolfwood was glad he slept in late, but everyone wasn't too happy about him coming to breakfast in his boxers.

Meryl chirped about how nice it was when Clone didn't come down to eat. Vashina was scooting as far away from Legato as she could get and giving him her share of food and Milly still prattled on about Wolfwood.

Suddenly, the room fell silent for a nano-second for no particular reason. That's when they heard the strangest sound yet to be heard in the house…

SCREEATCH SKREEEACCHT SKREET- Clunk! "Crap! Who put the wall there?" Skreskreskre. SKREAEEETCH SKKKKKREEEEEK…

The room stared at each other as the noise died. Clone walked down and entered the dinning room, wiping her brow. She stopped when she saw the room staring at her, turned on her heel and walked out the front.

The room turned their glance to Meryl, who picked up her forked and continued eating. There was a collective sigh as the tension broke and everyone was happy again…

((Back With Knives))

He found the perfect spot away from prying human eyes and inquisitive youngsters… He sighed. Ugh, he's sounding more and more stupid. It must be the time he spent with Clone.

But, he was back to his old ways and would soon develop a plan to wipe this planet clean of all parasites. A clean world where his brother, the Plants, and he can live in peace. No more Clone. No more vermin. No more Clone.

He couldn't help but smile as he leaned back in a swivel chair covered with the blood of it's recent occupant, laying on the floor decapitated. He took in his surroundings for the first time. A dark office with a tall ceiling and windows that reached for the total height. Bookshelves holding valuable earth knowledge and a deep mahogany desk sitting in front of the windows. The house in it's entirety was practically a mansion. With two wings spreading like arms from the center.

But, the best part about Knives' new abode was… it is an asylum… and in full practice.

((Back with The House))

Vash stared at the door… Yes, it was broken. But, he just wouldn't believe it. Everything in him told the gunman that the door was not broken but reality told him it was…

Wolfwood stood behind him, fully dressed and smoking. "Hey, that door is broken." Oh yes, and Wolfwood's comments weren't helping either…

Vash sighed and glared at the priest, walking back to his room to get his tools. Wolfwood chuckled and kicked the bed sticking out of Clone's closet…

Oh, did mention Clone shoved Meryl's bed into her closet? I'm pretty sure I did.

Anyway, the bed stuck halfway into the hall and made it awkward for the rest of the house living on it's opposite side, namely half of the residents. But seeing as Clone stuck the bed into the closet with no regard to the laws of space, the household had no ability to move it out of their way…

In other words, them's shit out of luck.

Wolfwood turned and took one step down the hall when he heard an odd "plop" noise from the closet. He turned back and found Clone sitting on her bed holding a book in her hand as she stared at him. "What?"

He shook his head, giving up on understanding her when his eyes caught hold of the book. "Oh, I didn't know you _knew_ how to read…"

Clone smiled and climbed off the bed, "No, no. This is research! But there are a few things I don't understand…" she said, turning the pages as Vash walked back down the hall towards them.

"Like what?" the blonde asked, catching the conversation.

Clone walked over to them, holding open the book. "Well, what does 'intercourse' mean? And these pictures aren't helping either…" she said, tilting the book so the two could see it.

Our two protagonists' eyes widened as they met the page. Vash snatched the book and flipped through the pages. "Holy- I thought I **lost** this one! Yeah! I remember! It was destroyed in July! Crap! Um… Clone, this isn't for your eyes. I'm going to have to confiscate it." the gunman finished, slightly blushed but still managed a stern, parent façade.

Wolfwood grabbed the book from and searched the pages. "Woah! I didn't think they _made_ 'em like this anymore… Um, yeah Clone. This is a bit too… **adult** for you…"

Clone shrugged and plopped on to her bed. "I don't care. You guys can have it. I've already read all of it."

They stared at her… "You- you have?" Vash stammered.

"Oh yeah," Clone said, waving her hand in the air. "All pointless stuff really. Although, there were some parts that did confuse me… Overall, it didn't help me at all."

The two men looked at each other. "Help you?" Wolfwood asked.

"Yeah. There was nothing in there that could relieve me of my strife. Stupid human literature."

There was a silence in the hallway as Clone lazed on her new bed and Vash and Wolfwood marveled at her… well, just at her. "So, you have _no idea _what you just read…" Vash ventured.

Clone peered at him for a minute, then sat up and stared at them. "Why? Was it important human knowledge that could be used as your downfall?"

Wolfwood chuckled, "Well-" Vash elbowed him and finished the sentence.

"No! It's just…. Nothing. It's nothing…" he trailed, backing away.

Clone glared at the two as they backed up. She stood up and slowly followed them. "No, no. It was something. You just don't **want** to tell me because I'll use it to kill mankind…"

Vash threw up his hands and smiled at her. "No! I wouldn't lie to you! You're my _flesh and blood_! Really, what you read was nothing and you should probably forget it quickly."

They were halfway to their room and Clone had to act fast. She smiled, "Ah, but you forget that our goals are different Uncle…" she drawled. "You like humans and I don't. And since you like them so much, maybe you're susceptible to their weaknesses…" she said, slowly unzipping her suit. Yes, humans were odd. She found it funny how the two men cowered at such a simple movement. But, she was going to make the talk even if she had to use knowledge she, herself, knew nothing about.

Vash whimpered because he was in front. Clone didn't know it, but, to him, she looked like the epitome of evil and …. Dare I say, lust. But she didn't know it. Wolfwood trailed his hand against the wall as he was pushed back by Vash. His hand finally hit the doorknob and stopped as the gunman tried desperately to shrink back.

Clone saw the priest's actions and thought the time was ripe. Human destruction, here I come. She leapt at Vash and knocked both me into their room, where she hurriedly jumped up and locked the door behind her back, smiling down at her two prisoners as the sun fell down the horizon…

Oh yes, Father would be proud…

((Back with Knives))

He shivered…. And yes, he knew why he shivered. Clone.

But he didn't know the real reason. The real reason was invisible to him although it sat on the desk he poured over, covered with books. The reason was a lady. A lady with thick black hair that spread on the desk's top and soft tan skin which reached up to a smiling face. Her velvet blue eyes stared down at him.

She wore a white gown splattered with spots of blood, remnants of her death. She was the former doctor's first patient, killed in one his experiments. And she had a crush on Knives because he killed her haunt.

She flipped up into the air and landed behind him, sending a bare wind ruffling the pages. Her hands laid themselves upon his shoulders and her plush lips came down to his ears. "You poor thing. You must be tired… Take a nap…" And on queue Knives' head sunk down on his book.

She smiled and began where he left off. She winked at his sleeping form and said, "Don't worry, my love. I'll get all this _nasty_ paperwork out of your way…"

And for that night, Knives slept in bliss…

((Back at the House))

Meryl shut her book and looked at the ceiling. She noticed the quiet… She looked around the living room and found Legato frantically looking under all the chairs for something, Amy and Didrean giggling to themselves, Vashina walking around the room trying to stay away from Legato, and Milly knitting…

Understand that, for some odd reason, no one was in the house when the "incident" happened…

She got up and walked to Vash and Wolfwood's room. The door was locked. "Crap."

((In The Boy's Room))

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! "Open up Vash! I **don't** know what you're doing in there but you **better** open up before I break down this door!"

Clone glared at the door from the middle of the room as Vash and Wolfwood were hiding in their bathrooms. (AN: HAHAH! You thought I was going to do something naughty! Well, poo on you!) It was true that her spacesuit was half-open when we last left her but the boys realized that the bathroom was a safe getaway.

She turned her glare into a smile and shifted to the bathroom. She knew the gunman and priest were looking through the keyhole…

She stepped up to the door and placed her body against the wood, putting her hand over the keyhole. There came a faint clicking noise as she moved the tumblers and swung open the door…

The room was empty but the tub was quivering.

She smiled and walked over, ripping the curtain down and found the two men pushed up against it's side. She leaned on the enamel's edge and smiled down at them, chuckling at how red they were. Ah, humans are interesting creatures! If she knew it was this easy to take them over, she would have done it a long time ago. "Well? Are you going to tell me what that book means? Or am I going to have to reveal _all_ the knowledge I read?"

The men whimpered as Clone placed her hand on the zipper…

"Ok! _That's_ **IT!**" CRAAAASSH! Meryl burst into the room, huffing. She turned to the bathroom and stopped at the scene.

Clone was glaring at her half-naked and the two men were staring at her with fear and relief in their eyes…

The two gray eyes fell on the book in Vash's hands…… She trembled with rage and stomped over to the bathtub, shoving Clone to the side.

"WHAT THE **HELL** DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH **_THAT!_**" she screamed. "You are a **MARRIED MAN **with **_CHILDREN!_**" she continued, snatching the book up and shaking it in front of them. "And **_YOU!_**" she turned to the priest, "Don't even get me **_started_** on you! I want both of you downstairs NOW! I need time to think of your punishment…"

Clone stared at the human. Meryl sighed, "This wasn't the book I wanted you to read… In fact," she said, tossing it into the toilet. "I don't even remember having this book. Oh well, let me show you what I you should read."

Clone waved her off. "Naw, I have all the information I need…" She smiled walking out of the room as the house headed to it's sleep and she plopped herself onto her bed. "All the information I need……."

((((End))))

C-E: You guys have NO idea how much fun it was to write this chapter! Yeah, I know. It's gotten pretty bad. But, hey! Every story needs a romance…. Or something akin to it… And I'm getting off of the original storyline… Oh well! This stuff is much funner to write! Oh, I'm getting rid of Ham-hams in favor of a random adventure. Won't that be fun!


	15. Snap

Disclaimer: I like millipedes... And I don't own Trigun.

C-E: This is bad but I'm trying to get the scroll bar on my navigation! I promise to make my chapters longer for some random reason...Wow. It's already chapter sixteen. I'm impressed with myself. Really. I usually don't stick to something so long. You know what, I'm starting to miss Ham Hams... If you want it back, I'll rewrite it for ya' but only if you really want it...

**Clone**

**Chapter Sixteen:  
Snap  
**

((((Start))))

Shick Shick Shick. Clone giggled pulling the curtain closed and closing herself off to house. The rings clicked together as she sat cross legged on her pillow safely tucked away at the top of her bed.Clone was happy in her little aclove and the rest of the house was at peace ... Ok, well mostly at peace. Legato was stalking the house, he's stomach loudly complaining of his missing snacks and his cold, yellow eyes glaring to find an outlet for his anger.

Vashina was in her room, her head bobbing up and down as she lounged on her indented bed with plush red down comforter. She did not hear the door open nor see it open, as she listened to her father's old cds with her eyes closed in concentration. Legato let an uncharacteristic smile creep over his face as he closed the door behind him. His stress relief was laying unexpected on her bed and now was the time for revenge... That clock _really_ hurt.

Wolfwood was in his room with Vash as both men were grounded for letting uncouth "reading material" into the house. But this was for the better as they comtemplated on what could arise from Clone's new information... Wolfwood lounged on his bed as Vash paced up and down the room between their two beds. Vash held his chin with his gloved hand and turned on his heel to face the languid Wolfwood, cigarette hangingly loosely from his mouth.

"I think we have something to worry about... We've shown her that humans _fear_ the concept and she might interpret that as _deadly_ to humans..."

Wolfwood waved the comment away, "Naw, you're going into it too much. She may the clone of a genius, but she's dumb as hell."

Vash's cerulean eyes narrowed in worry. "I don't think so. I think she's just leading us to believe that... If Knives was in the same situation... Well, he would probably just kill everyone, but there's still the chance that she's a genius..."

BANG BANG! "I thought I told you two, no **TALKING!** Vash get back on the bed and Wolfwood, **GET RID OF THAT CIGARETTE!**" Meryl's voice screamed from behind the door. The two men scurred into their spots, shivering.

"Shit! How does she do that!" Wolfwood spoke to the white wall in front of him.

"I'm telling you, she's a witch! Or knows voodoo. I swear I saw a doll in her dresser..."

Meryl bounded down the stairs to the kitchen in relative happiness, which was unusual for her. Amy and Didrean plopped onto the couch (and was quickly reprimanded doing so by Meryl) and talked about their findings. Didrean pulled out a large paper bag and set it between the two. Amy's eyes grew wide as she looked at the bag and pulled out her own findings, a box of donuts...

The girls stared at the box for a moment. "I think that's Vash's..."

Amy shook her head. "Yeah, I just thought he might get desperate, plus there was an anvil above it..."

Didrean giggled as she opened it and took a donut out. "He tried to kill Vash with such an _obvious_ trap?"

Meryl walked up to the girls, wiping her hands on a soiled apron. Her smile beamed down at them until she spotted the donuts, which made her gasp, snatching it away from them. "What're you doing with this! I thought I left it outside for Vaaaaaa-" she stopped looking at the girls. "I mean. I'll just put this in the refrigerator for later," she finished hurriedly walking away.

Both the girls giggled as they peered into the bag... "Hotdogs, chips, candy, sausage, cheese, sugar cubes, frozen pizza, gummy rats, sunflower seeds, Subway sandwhiches, and... donuts. Oi, my dad is desperate." Amy said, shaking her head.

"You're telling me! And he's getting crafty about hiding this stuff. I found the chips underneath the house and the sugar cubes were in one of Vash's _empty hair gel bottles_ in Meryl's room!"

"Wow! But how is he getting all this food? The town's blown up..."

Didrean narrowed her eyes. "I know, but we have to find out... For your dad's sake..."

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

Both girls jumped as Vashina tumbled down the stairs and ran for the door, followed by a lethagic Legato with a slight smile and content look on his face. The door slammed shut as Legato followed after his prey. He lazily scanned the horizon as the two suns shined down above, searching for any sign of whimpering or shivering. He smiled at a rock twenty feet in front of him as it squealed in fear. His white boots crunched in the sand making the rock whimper more.

Standing right above the sandstone embedded in the ground, his shadow stretched itself over to the other side as if sending a warning to the wide-eyed Vashina. She jumped up but couldn't run as Legato crossed around to look at her face to face with his sadistic smile and glowing yellow eyes. Vashina stared at him, eyes sparkling with tears.

He reached up with Vash's hand and cupped her shivering chin, pulling his face close to hers. "So, you like to throw things at people,_ hm?_" he drawled, letting Vashina whimper as his smile deepened. "Well, I'm going to show just what kind of hell awaits **inconsiderate** poeple like you..."

Shick. Clone giggled as she opened the curtain again."Hah..." she sighed plopping onto her back. She stared at the broken air vent above her, sighing again deeply. She wanted to cause trouble but she had nothing to go on... If only Father was there... If only he didn't leave her to rot in this hell-hole of a house... If only she hadn't noticed that pipe stretching across the ceiling with a red label of a white flame slapped onto it...

Clone smiled.

She liked red. And she retrieved the lighter from Vashina's room when she wasn't looking. Clone sat up, her head cocked up to stare at the label...

Something in her mind told her not to do it... But many other something's screamed at her too. She was going with the majority. Chick. Fwoosh. She cackled.

Meryl shivered as she washed dishes. "Milly?"

The bubblily brunette hopped over to her from putting up the dry dishes and leaned down to her superior. "Yes Meryl?"

"I think we need to get out of the house..."

The tall one cocked her head to the side, "Why?"

Meryl's gray eyes narrowed, "_**Clone..**._" her head snapped to the side to stare at Milly. "Go get Vash and Wolfwood. I'll take care of everyone else."

Milly nodded and ran up stairs as Meryl followed and grabbed the two girls still giggling on the couch and hulled them outside. Milly arrived at the men's door and looked down the hall at Clone, standing on her bed and messing with the top of her "room." Her brown hair twirled as she turned to the target room and opened it. "Mr. Vash! Nick! Meryl wants to see you outside. She thinks something is going to happen..."

The two men look at each and walk out the door, confused and slightly scared. Milly turned to Clone. "Ms. Clone? Are you coming with us?"

Clone waved her away and continued on her work. Milly shrugged and jogged down the stairs. The double suns peered down like uneven eyes as the make-shift family gathered outside. Legato sat on the rock as everyone gathered around him. Vash glared at him as Wolfwood smoked behing him, holding Milly in his hands. "What are you doing, Legato? _And where's Vashina?_"

Legato smiled, looking straight forward. "I have no idea what you're talking abo-"

**_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_**

The group spinned around in time to catch their house exploding in a massive fireball as debris rained around them. They fell silent as the flames raged and the sky stopped littering their past home. Wolfwood threw his cigarette to the ground, pulled himself from Milly, and squelched the remaining ember with his shoe. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about Clone anymore..."

As if on cue, a figure rised from the reckage, flames spouting fearlessly about, and stepped forward looking very well like hell on earth as the smoke cloaked the body and stinged the eyes on onlookers. Clone stepped forward coughing. Slip.

WHAM! "AH! **CRAP!** I THINK I HAVE A **NAIL** IN MY HEAD!" our heroine yelled rolling on the remnants of her door. Vash trembled with rage as he walked over to her writhing form.

The house just watched as Vash yelled, kicking Clone in her side, completely losing it. Legato stared at Amy while her attention was away and her mind was open. Yes, the psychic had his theories; and, one involved his daughter stealing all his food.

Oh, poor, poor Amy.

His golden eyes narrowed as he jumped off his rock and walked to his daughter, who looked up with wide eyes as she noticed her father's rage. Before he could reach her, Amy took off the other way, dragging Didrean with her.

"Why are you dragging **me** with _**you!**_" the bewildered twelve-year old screamed as Legato slowly caught up with them, not looking in the least bit out of shape from eating.

"We did this together! If I'm gonna get killed, **YOU ARE TOO!**" she yelled as Legato leaped, landing on top of the two.

Meryl ran to help the girls as Legato made them slap themselves, Milly ran to help Clone as Vash kneeled down to start ringing her neck, and Wolfwood stood between the the two events, laughing his worries away...

((With Knives))

Something seemed _odd_ to the nurse. The doctor hadn't come out of his office for a while; which, in most cases was not that alarming but she couldn't even hear him breathe in there. Or at least, what sounded like _him_ breathing. She knew the old house had many secrets, in fact she knew half the secret passages that patients found and favored, but nothing seemed to explain the fact that a cold breeze drove the nurse away everytime she tried to check on him.

But, she was worried and she was not allowed to take care of the patients in the basement... She stood before the great oak doors and took a deep breath, which nearly froze her lungs. Her knuckles landed hard on the wood and she listened closely as the sound echoed down the hall and back to her as if mocking her actions.

Knives snapped his head up, peeling the paper off his cheek. Odd. He never remembered being tired nor finishing his work and making a complete folder on which human was the craziest... Knock Knock.

His cold eyes stared at the door, then at the dead body beside him. _Pretend to be the doctor..._

Knives jumped, whipping his head around looking for the voice that whispered in his ear... He shook his head and grabbed the dead man's coat, pulling it on and rushing towards the door. He swung it open and stared at the bewildered nurse.

"Um, _Doctor?_" she asked.

Knives coughed and nodded, staring down at her. "Yes? What do you want?"

The nurse stared at this man. The truth is she never set eyes on the doctor. She usually just knocked on the door, told the doctor what was wrong, and he would advise her through the door. What made her suspicious was this man opening the door... She shook her head, getting back on track. "You've been out for a while and I was worried about the patients in the basement... Since I'm not allowed to take _care _of them..."

Knives smiled, making his cobalt eyes shimmering with intensity. "Fine. I'll be down there in a minute... Go back to your duties and don't worry about me..." he said, waiting for the lady to leave before he closed the door and turned around towards the dead body, cackling. "Well, _human!_ Looks like your little laborer is more foolish than I'd ever hoped for!" He laughed deeply and sighed. "Yes, this will be _too_ **easy**," he said, picking up the folder on his desk and flipping through.

"Rapist. Murderer. Killed his own family. Poisoned an entire town. Yawn." Plaff. He sighed, tossing the folder down onto the desk. He jumped as he watched a single file slipped out of the manilla folder. Dismissing the action as the wind, he picked it up and read.

"Original Earthian. Former leader of the world. First Plant. WAIT! First Plant... Holy crap! It says here, she's a _**girl!**_" He chuckled and hopped up and down. He stopped, straightening out his coat and walking down to the basement, holding in his excitement.

((((End))))

C-E: Yay! You people should be glad for this chapter! I can't WAIT to do the female Plant thing! I'm looking for a spot to put in some amnesia... MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Stayed tuned!


	16. Ho Ho Freakin' Ho

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. Or the Twinkie company.

C-E: The next chapter of Clone. Guys, I can't apologize enough for my lack of updating. If you want to come to my house and cut my head off, please report to:

6573 68th and Indian

Lubbock, Texas

A seminar and assassination plan development will be held here at 8 pm. Remember, only you can stop procrastination… with a shotgun.

**Clone**

**Chapter 14:  
Ho Ho Freakin' Ho**

"Twas' the night before Christmas and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. When up from the rooftop I heard such a clatter! I jumped from my bed to see what was the matter-"

_Cha-chik_. **BANG BANG!** Clone walked out of the kitchen with a twelve gauge in hand, whistling while loading the gun with two new bullets at the desk beside the bright Christmas cactus in front of the fire. She paid no mind to the shocked group in the living room, staring as she whistled back out of the room.

The familywas huddled in front of a raging fire. Vash sat in a wicker rocking chair holding an old earth book he had just been reading while the rest of the family (excluding the elusive Knives) lounged around him in happy family togetherness, wrapped in blankets and sipping cocoa.

Yes, it was a wonderful Christmas. One the likes the house has never seen. Of course, ever since Clone blew up the town, shopping had been an **_inexcusable_** headache. But all that aside, the yuletide spirit was bright in the room as Vash cleared his throat and continued with the story.

"When what should my wondering eye appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer-"

_Cha-chik_. **BANG BANG!** "MWUAHAHAHA!"

_Pwaff._ Vash closed the book and looked over at Wolfwood. The priest glared back and pulled himself out of a heartfelt embrace with Milly to walked into the kitchen. The room fell silent as the following conversation occurred:

"CLONE! What the _hell_ are you doin'!"

"… I'm not shooting at the carolers if that's what you mean…"

(silence)"Where did you get that shotgun?"

"What shotgun?"

"_The one in your hand._"

"You're obviously going blind, human. I _have_ no shotgun in my hand."

"Yes you do! It's right- ARGGHHH! Come inside NOW!"

"NO! You can't make me! AHHHHHH!"

_Clickclickclickclickclick_. "NOOOOOO! WHY DID I HAVE TO SHOOT THOSE LAST TWO KIDS!"

Wolfwood stumbled into the room with a reluctant Clone in tow as she flailed and grabbed for the shotgun which Wolfwood casuallytossed to Vash. The priest threw Clone to the couch next to Vashina and the two clone's grew silent, as if both their erratic natures were nulled when set next to each other.

Vash sighed and opened the book again. Soon, the story was over leaving the entire room lifted with the echoes of that last sentence. A collective sigh filled the warm room as scents of gingerbread men and cactus filled the silence…

"That was _boring!_"

Everyone looked at Clone as she sat with her legs in the air and her head touching the floor. Wolfwood stood up and walked past her to stand in front of the cactus. "Stay like that Clone, it might help you think better (chuckled giggle)

"As you all know, Christmas is the time for happiness and family togetherness," the priest began with a practiced flourish, "We come together every year to celebrate the birth of our savior ("Father?" "Shh, Clone!") and show each other our care with presents. But there are times when we take things for granted and forget the true meaning of Christmas: Good will to all men and women alike. This is the time of year when humans put **_aside_** their differences and hold hands in harmony. This is the time of year when we can bury the hatchets of past grudges and venture back to a _simplier_ time when mankind lived bright and vibrant on mother earth...

"Let's all not forget as we open our presents tommorrow morning that possessions are not what makes humans happy but having the knowledge that some one cares enough to _give_ them to you." They nodded in agreement (excluding the growling Clone) moved by the priest's words. "Don't forget that this is the time of year when our Savior was born and would later die for our sins; to me, that is the greatest gift human kind can ever have... Now, all of you get to bed so we can get the presents out of the-" The tall, dark man stopped, seeing Milly's glare. "So, Santa can get down the chimeny and eat your wonderful cookies!"

So, the house went to sleep that night in bliss... for the three minutes it usually lasts in the house. Clone promptly hopped out of her closet bed and pranced down the halls, searching for a special some one that quaint and quiet Christmas. She desperately held in a squeal as she neared Vash and Wolfwood's chambers with the soft, muffled snores humming casually from within. Clone donned a festive getup with Santa's hat, green stockings, curled toed boots, and velvet tunic squeezing every portion of her body as well as a long, blond, and curly wig topped with a wreath of holly.

Thusly, Clone cracked open the door and slipped in, making nary a sound despite her awkward shoes. The evil elf loomed over a peacful Vash slowly, but steadily, poking and prodding, slapping and kicking, until the plant had her throat in his mechanical grasp. Wolfwood laid still asleep, though no longer snoring as Vash growled at the gasping Clone, "**What do you want.**"

Clone managed to gargle out the sentence, "I'm the ghost of Christmas Past!"

_Thud._

Vash released his grasp and stared down at the coughing plant before sighing, tossing his covers back and setting his warm feet on the cold ground. Next thing she knew, Clone was being dragged through the house, down the stairs, and to the sand outside by Vash's disgruntle hand. He stopped, letting Clone writh in pain, calming down but mostly just waiting for Clone to stop squealing. Finally, the grown man, half-clad in sweat pants, turned to his so-called "neice" and said, "Clone. What in **_heavens_** name are you doing now?"

Clone stood up, dusting herself off, stopping and looking Vash square in the eyes. "I don't understand, sir. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past."

Vash stared. "No, you're Clone, the carbon-copy of my genocidal brother who turned out to be nothing like him and who seeks his enduring love although no such thing ever existed..."

Clone growled, latching on to his arm and dragging him across the desert to a suspicious-looking set. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past. I'm going to show you a past Christmas. And Father **_does_** love me!"

((At Crappy Set #1))

This was not the idea Legato had when Clone said she would change Vash. He certaintly did not think dressing up like the plant's dead mother would do anything; and besides all that, it was really freaking cold out there. The psychic was already having a hard time keeping those two random children Clone found under control. It was a stupid plan but, for some reason, Legato thought it just might work... that and Clone's resemblance to Knives influenced him...

Legato's sighed, watching the misty cloud from his breath fuse with the winter desert cold, and leaned back into the "flawless" set Clone miracuously produced overnight. At least it had a roof, although flimsy, and resembled a SEEDs ship of old. The two boys (looking nothing like their characters, Vash and Knives) played around on the Mac computer found somewhere in the vicinity of Meryl's bedroom. The floor was tiled dispite being placed on shifting sands and walls that, at least, supported a man's weight. All that aside, it really was a horribly erroneous representation of a space ship... And it had no hot cocoa.

_Skiff skiff skiff. Creeeak._

Legato sighed, pushing himself from his wall and summoning the kids to their spots. Clone walked in attached to a thoroughly confused Vash of whom she tosses to the floor and plants herself in front of. With a dramatic sweep of her hand, she spins to face the room and let Vash see the set. "Do you remember this Vash? It is the first Christmas you ever had."

Vash stood up, wide-eyed and mouth agape. "It is. I can't believe! There's Rem! And me! And even Knives! I think he was crazy at this point but still! It's all as I remember it! Oh the Christmas tree... None of the crew came to join us that evening... But it was still lots of fun--"

**Wap.**

Clone smacked Vash over the head to shut him up as Legato cleared his voice to do a half-hearted imitation of Rem. "Alright boys," the blue-haired man began, "Finish decorating the tree and you can open one present."

The boy representing Vash flung a bunch of ornaments on the plush cardboard pine tree and ran to a shoe box with a bow attached to it. He ripped off the bow and opened it, taking out a paper meche geranium with a few flowers broken off. "Wow! Thanks Rem! I promise never to let it die!"

"Three months later, stupid Knives destroys the ship..." Vash whimpered, sitting on the ground watching. Clone stood above him and raised her hand but stopped as the scene continued.

The Knives actor took his time with the tree and even finished the mess Vash left, trying his best to avoid getting a present (which Vash nodged closer to him). Finally, the more mature of the brothers opened his shoe box and took out a knife. Vash beamed and pointed to his brother's trembling fist, clutching the blade. "Get it? Cause your name is Knives!"

"AHHH!" Knives launched towards Vash screaming. The two boys rolled on the floor, knife tossed to the side, beating the crap out of each other. Legato watched, chuckling slightly, until Clone cleared her throat and he snapped back to character.

"Don't fight," Legato drawled and the two boys separated, sitting quietly next to each other.

Clone tapped a wall and a black tarp fell from the ceiling, hiding the scene. She stood in front of Vash who took up the habit of bawling every time something involved Rem. She sighed, "Shut up, Uncle Spikey. Don't you see how horrible your life was back then? And it was all Rem's fault because she taught you those horrible human traditions. She corrupted you and something about killing humans." Clone swapped the blonde wig with a multi-colored afro, the likes of which a clown would wear, and continued. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present. Come on."

((In The Town That Randomly Appeared For This Reason))

The two arrive in the midst of midnight yuletide happenings. Clone drags Vash to a random house and puts him in front of the window. "See there? The humans forsake their own holiday by having sexual relatio- What are you doing?"

Vash squatted at the window, snapping pictures of the couple. He whipped the camera into his pants and glared at Clone. "Nothing. Just taking notes... Right, so humans are bad?"

Clone growled, ignoring Vash's obvious libido and threw her wig to the ground. She produced a cloak from nowhere and slips into it. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future. Let's get this over with so I can get back and destroy all the presents," she says yanking Vash from his crouching position and dragging him once more to another crappy set.

((At Crappy Set #2))

It was five feet to the next set and yet Legato still couldn't figure out why he was doing this. But the thing that bothered him the most, as he got into his next costume which ironically was Vash, was how any of this was supposed to change a hardened pacifist like Vash into a snarling, inhumane, rabid hater of mankind... And now, Legato was starting to miss Knives...

_Cha-click._

The former minion sighed, finishing his costume and walking out into the "stage." He stopped to look at Vash... without Clone. Actually... Vash looked rather dark today. His hair lightened to white; his eyes turned red and he wore a black coat...

Legato shrugged, knowing Vash had many moods, and started the scene. He slumped over a stuffed bedsheet made to look like Meryl and began to cry... well, actually he laughed, figuring it was as close to crying as he could get. Legato stopped, noticing a Vash-like shadow fall over him, and looked up.

The eternal enemy of Knives snarled down at the lifeless (and poorly made) doll of Meryl, leaning down and ripping it out of Legato's hands and started beating the stuffing out it, literally. Legato sat back onto his feet and watched patiently and wildy amused. After a while, Vash handed the limp Meryl back to Legato, stood up dusting himself off, and walked out the door.

"Huh. Never thought one of Clone's ideas would work..." Legato said as the door clicked shut.

_Cha-click._

The minion stood with the sheets folded across his arm as the doors opened once more; and before he could ram the person's head into the wall with mental speed, Clone stepped through the doorway dressed in her cloak with Vash, clad in normal clothes, in painful tow. Clone stopped, staring at Legato seemingly finished with his scene. Legato stopped staring at Vash with the ability to change clothes within seconds. And Vash stopped looking at the torn bedsheet resembling Meryl...

"**YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO START THE SCENE UNTIL I TELL YOU TOO!** _Ugh! Such incompetence!"_ Clone yelled, slamming the cloak into the ground and stomping off, flailing her arms in the air.

Vash pointed to the bedspread still on Legato's arm. "So you're the one who stole Wolfwood's sheet! I had to sleep on that itchy matress for weeks!" he said, walking up to Legato and snatching it from his hands, "Give it back! And get all this taken down! Grrr. Clone keeps me up and night..." Vash's voice trailed into the night as he left Legato alone in the scene.

The cold wind hightened his anger... but it was Christmas so he decided to let it pass... but _only_ for this once.

So the scenes came down, the town was destroyed (the people killed themselves at least) and the house was peaceful once more. And all the little boys and girls and clones and psychopaths slept the night through dreaming of sugar plums and dancing Knives' as they wait for the morning to break and the presents to open... So, merry christmas to all, happy holidays and kwanza alike. But most all, remember... Don't put a monkey in a microwave.

((((End))))

C-E: Um.. this Christmas special was started some years back... So, let's just call it atransition chapter cause I already know I destroyed the "house" already... Other than that, Enjoy!


	17. Would You Look At That

Disclaimer: Time for Trigun FUNNESS! (that I don't own)

C-E: I'd like to take this time to thank all you people who think I'm awesome... Thank you reviewers and all those with the happiness to put me on their favorites! It means a lot to me... So, yeah. Another Clone... I guess the last one wasn't old enough for me... Here we go!

**Clone Season 2**

**Chapter Seventeen:  
Would You Look At That...**

((((Start))))

Nine figures hunched beneath an overhanging rock, hiding from the twin suns' relentless onslaught of heat. The men sat half naked, wiping the sweat from their shimmering foreheads as the women huddled deep in the crevice. Clone was forced to sit on top and watch for passing cars... Needless to say, our heroine was baking like bacon in the Sahara desert. But even the light popping and sizzling noise could not bring the "family" to Clone's aid... That is unless she found a new, better house for them to live in.

Which was easier to say than do.

But alas! Clone sat up, flinching as the rock found new places to cook and crisp, and scanned the horizon one last, futile time before resigning below to her eventual demise... When a soft gust of wind tossed her short hair and called her gaze to the left, which (oddly enough) she never looked at before. Her cobalt eyes grew wide as she stared at the mansion before her, jumping up and laughing wildly. The other eight heads looked up to the tan rock of their temporary ceiling, some sighing, others grumbling but Milly smiled and turned to the rest, "It sounds like Ms. Clone is enjoying herself!"

Meryl sighed fanning herself avidly. "Well, she better not be slacking off! We can't live under a rock all our lives..."

The men shifted their glance back to the horizon. Legato stayed to a side of his own (he was still angry and no one likes an angry Legato). Wolfwood smoked the last of his cigarettes next to Vash, sitting cross-legged and burning what still existed of his skin. Wolfwood was the first to notice two cream boots hanging off the precipice. The priest nudged Vash who noticed the boots disappear and scuffle to the other side. Legato was the last to notice as Clone made a fateful jump...

WHUMP. Crack.

Onto Legato's head. The hyperactive clone-Knives jumped up and scampered to Vash and Wolfwood. Amy ran to her father to help him... or hold him back from killing Clone with his bare hands, either one. The psychopath calmed down, huffing in the searing suns. "You can't run forever Clone. I will kill you, anyway I can..."

All death threats aside, Clone was pleased with herself, which is more than can be said as she skipped to an aggrevated Meryl who glared up at the menace as Clone's shadow fell upon her. "What?" the ill-tempered woman asked as Clone plopped down in front of her with crossed legs.

"I have found you inferior beings and Stupid Uncle Spikey Head a temporary dwelling," she said casually pulling at the wrinkles in her indestructable space suit.

Meryl hunched over to place her chin in a nonchalant palm, sighing as she placed a glare on Clone's shoulders. "Well, did you at least check if anyone already lived theeeee-" her fell as a emphatic smile spread across Clone's face like butter melting on a stove.

She growled, sitting back. "Nevermind. I don't even want to know," she continued standing up with Milly in tow, "Right! Well, Clone actually found a place which means we have to move out... Milly!"

Milly jumped, saluting her senior, then delving into her coat pockets rummagaing for some unknown object that soon became known as she whipped out a megaphone and gave it to Meryl as if it were Excalibur. Meryl snatched it from her hands and held it to her lips, breathing deep.

"**GET UP AND MOVE OU-**screeech" She was cut short as Vash grabbed the amplifier from his wife.

"We get it Meryl! Where did you get this?! I thought I burned it..." he said, mulling over the cursed contraption.

So the family moved, placating themselves with the fully furnished and centrally-heated House 2

((With Knives))

_Skooof_.

The basement doors slide open into a winding spiral of metal stairs. (A/N: third freaking time I've written this part) His steps echo as the plant marches into the chilled hall of the psychotic. A feeling of dispair and hopelessness, so familiar to him, cast itself into the darkness looming at the edges of the flickering lights overhead. Moans of incoherent origin drift through the air as Knives begins his voyage to the end of the hall, revelling in the atmosphere as if a famous musician walks the room of his first gig. The dust flitted through the air, absent only where the late doctor once trod to keep his tenants bearily alive. However, Knives stopped before a door marked 1133.

The ground was layered with thick dust, undisturbed.

He reached a gloved hand to the metal, hesitating in knocking and falling to the rusted latch without a sound of warning. The metal grinded in agony as the failing joints put in their last efforts and twisted to release the door from it's wall. A smell of decay met Knives' senses.

"Useless... Dead by now," he muttered letting go of the latch and stepping back. Light fell into the chamber like a fever searching for it's plague victim.

"Don't be too sure of that, dear..." a soft voice flitted through dark, striking the plant pale.

His satin blue eyes peered into the dark, as he squeezed his lean body through the stubborn door.

What he found...

((At the House 2))

Meryl was pleased with the new house. The halls and rooms spanned for miles and the twisted staircases and high ceilings meant she could avoid the others _easier_ than House 1 permitted. That and everyone got their own rooms. Yes. Even Vash was allowed his own room after a heated argument over the ownership of ten cases of hair gel which he **_swore_** belonged to a cat who followed him around causing such mischeif. What kind of a fool does he take her for?

She fell into a plump bed, fully clothed with silken sheets and light lace overhanging that seem drift with the slightist amount of wind. The large french windows filtered the afternoon sun into sparkling tendril of light, twisting with the excitement of the new arrivals. The house, itself seemed to be alive with activity. Greeting it's new tenants with open arms and blasting them with cooling air.

Merly smiled.

And gently drifted into sleep...

((Meanwhile))

Vashina sat in her room... Glaring at Clone, who forced her bed into the walkin closet.

Yes. Clone was forced to share rooms with Vashina... After all. She **_did_** blow up the _last_ one...

"This sucks..." Vashina muttered spreading out on her satin bed.

"Tell me about it," Clone growled checking the closing radius of the doors.

"Why are _you_ so mad?? **_You're_** the one who **actually** deserves being halled up in a cage?? Why'd **_I_** have to be included in your warped punishment???" Vashina growled, propping herself on an elbow.

Clone glared at her, slipping the door closed. "Face it. You're father **_hates_ **you!!"

"WHAT?????" Vashina jumped up, grabbing the nearest object...

_WHACK!!!!!!_

"HAHA!! CAN'T HIT ME THROUGH THE DOOR IDIOT!!"

"THEN I'LL BREAK IT DOWN!!!"

_Wham! Wham! Wham!_

"**WHAT'S THIS DOOR MADE OUT OF????"**

((In the Other Wing))

Vash was perturbed. Not surprisingly.

But he was particuarily worried about Legato, huddled over what appeared to be a "war zone," which was a map marked like the new house and little figures, some excrutiatingly decapitated and presumibly dead as he chuckled to himself.

Yeah. This was something he had to stop.

"Um.. Legato?" Vash waited for a reply but only received manic chortling.

Vash cleared his throat and tried again... mustering all the courage he could. "Legato! Maybe you should help me with the... um.. garden?" he said, tossing a thumb over his shoulder indicating a decrepit lot of sand no different from the millions of acres next to it.

Legato sighed, sitting back on his feet and placing a contemplative hand on his chin.

"Hmmmmmm..." he mused.

Vash waited.

Clone yelled.

"No." the finished, hunching back over his figures and mangling the already worn Clone doll.

Vash glared at the man. After Clone destroyed his house, the VERY house he made with his **own** _two_ hands, the pacifist was fed up with being "kind and caring."

"GET YOUR _ASS_ UP AND STOP PLOTTING YOU DAMN **PANSY!!**" He yelled, grabbing Legato's collar and yanking the bewildered psychic out into the scorching sand.

Legato scrambled to his feet and ran around the corner of the house through Wolfwood's plumes of smoke. The priest blew a last puff and tossed the butt to the ground, walking back through the door Legato high-tailed it out of. Vash was bent over picking up Legato's mess, fuming like a well-known genocide. Wolfwood raised a dark brow and helped the poor man out.

"Vash. You gotta chill buddy. You're turnin' into your brother."

"I AM **_NOT!!!!!!!!_**" Vash yelled, whipping up and glaring down at the startled priest with a glare that seemed oh-so familiar.

"uuhhm..." the priest muttered as Vash tossed the map and half the figures at the startled man, before storming off to Clone and Vashina's room.

"Oh hell. This **_can't_** be good... God help us all..."

((With Clone and Vashina))

Vashina crumpled against the door, devoid of any engery. "huff huffhuff.. you can't stay ... in there... for ever Clone!!"

"HA!! Shows what **YOU **know!!"

_SLAM!!! _

Vashina jumped back against the wall, faced with visage of El Diablo, barely noticing Clone peeking through the slight gap she slid open.

"**_Quiet. Now._**" Vash growled. He paused glaring at the selfish pair as they squirmed in confusion and fear.

_Good._ he thought, _hehe squirm you worthless failures. One last thing... _He turned on his heel and headed towards Meryl's room...

((Meryl's Room))

Her eyes fluttered open.

Huh? Something was wrong... It was... quiet...

The vertically challenged woman sat up and peered around her darkening room. The last rays of dusk lazily spilled through the pale mesh surrounding her bed. She wiped a sleepy tear from her eye and yawned as her hands searched for the part in the mesh.

The door creaked open and she paused, intently trying to focus her sleepy gaze. The room relaxed her more than usual and her intuition about the silence failed to sharpen as she peered at the darkened outline of her husband.

He seemed different.

"Meryl," he said, forcefully through the fading light. Once aqua eyes sharpened to a threatening blue. "We need to talk," he finished, advancing on the woman.

Ha. Like talking would make a pissed woman any better.

Meryl ripped the mesh apart and dropped a bare foot on the floor with a sound that seemed to part the earth. "I don't THINK so Vash!!" she growled, fully awake now. "You _had_ **your **chance. I am NOT letting you _NEAR_ me till you can figure out how to tell me the **truth**!!!" she smiled as the figure balked in his steps and whimpered.

"but-but!"

"**_NO!!!!!!_**"

"aaahhhh!!" Vash squealed, crawling out the door and into his own with a faint _slam_.

Meryl smiled, satisfied that she could make a such a supposedly "dangerous" man whimper. Heh. Still got it.

She stared at the ripped mesh. "eh. woops."

((Back with Knives))

He stumbled out of the mansion intent on leaving yet _another_ mistake behind him. He would need help with this one... And he knew only **_one_** person sure to be able to stop _this_ mistake...

As much as he hated to admit needing help from his little brother...

((((End))))

C-E: ... EEEEP!! Who ARE you people???? Oh right. Well, don't look at me like I'm a zombie cause I'm back!! Expect another Family pretty soon like. And HEY!! While you're at it! Mail me your socks cause I can't find mine!! Oh yeah. YAY I'M SENIORNESS!! Hope you guys enjoy me after my some-odd-and-incredibly-long-months of hiatus. Haven't seemed to lose the touch! Until NEXT chapter!! Gung **HOOOOO!!!!!**


	18. Acclimating to New Surroundings

Disclaimer: How many of these have I done?? Don't you people get it yet?? I DON'T OWN TRIGUN!!!!

C-E: Wow. I'm writing ANOTHER author section. And WHAT HO!! It's another Clone! Longest lasting story ever! So hey! Enjoy. All eight of you who will probably read this.

**Clone**

**Chapter Eighteen:  
Acclimating to New Surroundings****  
**

((((Start))))

What a day it had been for Vashina. For one, her room was invaded by a malevolent and relentless Clone. Then, her father yelled at her for no reason. THEN, Legato entered the room and nailed a doll of her and Clone above the vanity and left glaring at her, since Clone was still huddled in her protective closet. And lastly, her hair brush broke. **Her freaking hair brush.**

She sighed plopping onto her bed as the last of the second sun's rays melted into the horizon. Soft noises came from Clone's "room" leading Vashina to believe the abomination fell asleep. But to think that would be underestimating her...

Vashina growled shifting her glare at Clone's door to a sleepy glance at the wall next to her bed. She settled her hands beneath the wavy golden curls of her unbrushed hair as she shifted to her side. The blank, starch white wall gleamed at her as the moon split the darkness settling in her room.

A new house.

So blank and sterile. So like a purgatory. Like a waiting room to some unknown train of destiny. How lifeless. How like an angel in purpose. Like a god in feeling. (A/N: Ohmygosh! Hamlet!)

_BAM BAM BAM!_

She shot up, sending sprays of yellow into her eyes. Clone threw open her door and stared at the door along with Vashina. The clones trading glances, which turned swiftly into glares, and ran to the entry hall where the rest of the house had gathered. Legato stumbled down the last of the stairs, sleepily rubbing his eyes and fairly cold in his pajama bottoms. He stiffened as he heard two pairs of frantically fast footsteps.

_**WHAM!**_

And was rightly tackled by Vashina, sending the pair head first down the other half of the stairs and landing in a seething heap on the floor. Legato silently glared at the ceiling, ignoring the pulsing headache that sprouted into his head like a pesky dandilion. What he was more focused on was the figure of Vashina coaxing her own head to stop hurting as she straddled him with a _**particuarly**_ boney knee in his stomach. She stopped nursing her own head as she felt a chill run down her spine and slowly looked at blue-haired psychic laying on the floor as a little pool of blood bloomed behind his left ear.

She could see her _soul_ in his eyes...

"**_OH GOD!!_ I'M SO SORRY!!**" she yelled, jumping off of him and falling back on the stairs as Clone ascended them laughing.

"Oooo! I hope he kills you now! So I won't _miss_ it!" Clone giggled, hopping down to the floor with a bright smile planted on her face.

"Every one **BE _QUIET!_**" Meryl yelled, stomping down the stairs with Milly in tow. "Some one open that door and tell the idiot on the other side to SHUT UP!!"

Wolfwood, standing closest to the door, sighed letting out a stream of smoke and walked to the irrate door. He threw it open and jumped back as Knives scrambled inside, kicking the door closed as he sprawled on the floor heaving.

"Thank **GOD** you opened that door! Don't open it for **ANYONE!!**" he said, getting up the thrusting a threatening finger in Wolfwood's bemused face. "And I mean **_ANYONE!!_**" he finished, gaining his composure back in a deep breath and turning on his heel towards Legato. "Legato. Upstairs. **Now**. We have a _situation,_" he started up the stairs as the psychic stammered to his feet. "And I don't care **WHAT** those stupid clones did to you," he continued, sending an icy glare to his fuming minion. "We have **_bigger_** problems. Where's your room?"

Legato sighed and grabbed the railing, pulling himself arduously up the stairs. "This way Master.."

Amy (Legetta) grabbed Didrean's arm and pulled her to the unfurnished ballroom as the rest of the family chattered over the curious apperance of Knives. She shut the door and turned to Didrean with a puzzled look tossed over her shoulder at the muffled voices. "Do you think father is acting..._ wierd?_"

Didrean nodded, sitting on the marbled floor crosslegged. "Yeah. You think it's stress from the clones pestering him?"

Amy leaned against the door and slowly shook her head, "No... no. That's not it..."

((Back in the Entrance Hall))

Meryl growled locking the door as Milly snatched to cigarrette from Wolfwood's mouth, scaulding him about smoking as a priest. Vash peered through the upstairs banister and whimpered as Meryl's cold glaring eyes fell on him. "What're **_you_** doing up?"

"Just.. just checking out the carpeting.." Vash said mumbled nervously rubbing his robotic hand on the carpet..

Of course, metal and carpet tend not to mix..

_BZZZZZZZZZZT crish.._

"Ummm... I can't move my arm..."

"**GET OUT OF HERE VASH!!!**" Meryl yelled sending the grown man hurtling into his room.

Vashina sighed and followed after his father as she was the only one who knew how to fix his arm. Clone took a seat on the stairs, pondering her father's odd reactions...

Fear.

It was something she had never known her father to have. A human emotion that _surely_ no pure beings, much more Him, should have to worry about. **Surely** no creature could counter his powers to an extent as to send him into a fit of confusion and self-denial. And yet...

_He was afraid._

Of what though?

Ever since her consciences colliding, Clone has felt a disturbing yet nagging feeling of _doubt_ in her father's perfection, like her mind was forming on it's own, independent of the supieror brain matter aquired from her father's cloned genes. Independent thought...

What was she _thinking_?

"Father!! **YOU'RE HOME!!**" Clone yelled, jumping up and running to Legato's room.

"**_GO AWAY CLONE!!!_**" Clone balked in front of the bedroom door.

Yep. That was father alright.

She fell against the door and slid down it, dragging her nails on the wood in a pleading cry of acceptance...

But really just annoyance.

"CLONE!! FOR THE LOVE OF A NON-EXISTING GOD **_GO AWAY!!!_**"

She jumped up. "I understand Father! You want me to patrol the grounds in a nightly check of the spider beings, making sure there is no plotting against your supierority and punishing all whom stand in your way while at the same time, keeping a calm composure and control on my emotions to make sure the humans do not think of us as narssissitic or victims of hubris and therefore easily defeated by our own pride and corrupted by meaningless human concepts such as money and beauty, even though, you are _quite_ beautiful!"

"... Please... for the sake of my sanity... don't **_ever_** call my beautiful again.. And yes Clone. Go patrol but don't come back cause I already know what you're going to say," Knives said from his realitive sanctuary of Legato's room.

Clone smiled and hopped away squealing with joy.

_Her father was back!_

And she was going to show him how _loyal _she has been after **all** this time!

((Meanwhile with Vash))

Vashina hunched over his arm wearing his pair of magnifying goggles and tinkering with the circutry in his unattached arm. Vash sighed from his bed, good arm over his eyes and laying deep in thought.

Small sounds of tinking metal and curt electric discharges emitted from the table sinking deeper into the darkness as the moons hide behind looming clouds. The sand shimmered like countless eyes on the verge of tears and then blinking out as the light receeded into the sky whence it came. The house fell silent as the inhabitants drifted into their _own_ concerns or into the comforting release of sleep.

So many things flashed into the former gunmans mind. These recent years have been a turbulent pot of stew, with every new ingredient added the water just boils higher and higher... He did not want to see this boil over...

He snapped today. Something he has never done in a _loooong_ time.

_Why?_

Was it stress? Was he worried about his brother gaining power again? Why could he not get Knives to just settle down and accept humans after all these years? Will this war between siblings ever end? Why was Wolfwood here? And Vashina? And speaking of Vashina, why did she appear after all this time? Why was he living with Legato, his sworn enemy, so _peacefully_? After all these years of happiness... was he being called back into action as the infamous gunman?

And ... was he... **_resisting_** it?

It felt like something was _**growing**_ in him... A feeling held back by a feeble dam of resolution. He knew his peace was going to end.. but he did not want it to. He hated it. He hated _them..._

Vashina stopped, listening to her father's absent-minded sighs. She set down her equipment down and walked to her father's bed sitting at his feet and crossing her legs. Golden spirals fell into her eyes, which fell back when she tried to push them away. "Dad?"

Vash lifted his arm and peered at his clone... He replaced a contemplative scowl with a beaming smile and pulled himself up. "Yeah? Vashina?"

She sighed and leaned in to hug him. "You can't fool me dad. Something's wrong..."

Vash drooped, placing his hand on her tangled hair. "It's okay Vashina... It's okay."

His eyes widened as he noticed a pair of navy eyes peering over the end of the bed. He gasped when he saw them smile and wave a hand at him...

_His machinical hand..._

"**_CLONE!!_**" he yelled, startling Vashina out of her hug and spinning around as Clone sprinted from the door.

She chuckled as she ran through the house, feet muffled by the deep carpet. She skid to a stop before Legato's room and stopped short of knocking, remembering his last words. And smiled, turning the knob quietly as she smiled seeing Vash appear at the end of the hall.

_WHACK_

He tackled her, pinning her arms with his only hand but eased as he heard Knives' urgent, yet calm voice emit from the cracked open door. Both Clone and Vash crawled to the door, perking their ears at the Knives' tone.

"Master you came back rather... quickly.." Legato drawled as Knives sat at the table, facing the blackness of this forsaken land.

"You sound disappointed Legato," the plant growled, keeping a searching glare on the hidden sands as if looking for a lion.

"Forgive me Master... I meant to ask if you finished your business so quickly.."

Knives fell into silence as Legato bowed slightly, lifting his head to study Knives' darkened form, stiff with a feeling Legato could not decipher.

"There's... I've encountered a problem in my searches Legato," he stammered, gaining Vash's and Clone's attention, still crouched by the door.

Legato straightened. "Should I take actions Master?"

Knives sighed, running a hand through his listless hair as he turned from the window to the table. Legato shifted noticing the his master's drawn face...

"I've run into a problem Legato... It might not be something to worry about.. or.. it might be the end of me..." Legato stiffened, scared by his idols words. "Regardless... There is no doubt I will need help... but..." Knives turned his eyes from the table to the window, ".. I cannot run from it this time... from her..." his balled fingernails dug into his palm. His face blanched. His eyes hardened with unsupressed fear.

"From Serenity..."

((((End))))

C-E: WOW!! Lots of cliffhangers in this one. Welp! I'll patch em up here pretty soon.. or not... Really Serenity **shouldn't** come in till year three... _after_ the last clone.. Oh well!! It just gets better from here!! And there's a LOT more angst in this one!! I'll have to put an END TO THIS NONESENSE!!! Stick that in your lawn and mow it.


End file.
